I’VE been in lockdown at our home in West Linton since March 14 along with my partner, the former teacher I call the Heidie, and our Jack Russell terrier called Hamish. I’ve been keeping a diary to help avoid going stir crazy. Today is the last edition of the Lockdown Diary, as I will explain.

DAY 71: Enter our 11th week in lockdown by learning of Dominic Cummings’s wee jaunt to Durham. Keep thinking Boris will dump him but he doesn’t because clearly Domniavelli has too much dirt on the Prince of Piffle.

Take delivery of our first face masks, supplied by West Linton Sews who have been brilliant in making them from scratch and distributing around the area. Mine features exotic parrots and I’m smitten. They’re really well made and if we are going to go out into the world again they will be a necessity.

Spot an item in which a medical person says he made masks impregnable just by adding a small squeeze of hand sanitising gel. Sounds smart to me.

READ MORE: Lockdown Diary: What is that animal on the village green?

DAY 72: The Domniavelli Cummings saga is now officially mental. The Heidie’s 92-year-old mother, a lifelong Tory voter, says she’ll never vote for them again because “they are only in it for themselves”. Took a while, but she’s got there.

Boris, Carlaw and the rest – trust me, if she’s agin ye then you’re in very deep doo-doo.

The Linton Hotspur Keepie Uppie challenge that I mentioned a while back has resulted in £2k – four times the initial target – being raised for local key workers. Fi Ingram and Hazel Kinghorn – Scotland rugby international Blair’s stepmum – put together terrific goodie bags and distribute them as a mark of all our appreciation.

DAY 73: More installations on the village green. This time it’s the Vikings from How to Train Your Dragon – everybody is trying to find out who West Linton’s Banksy is, to thank him or her for their work which has cheered us all up.

DAY 74: Domniavelli and the Piffle Prince are going to get away with it. They are brazening it out and nobody can force them to do a thing because this really is now a one-party state in which Parliament is a joke.

READ MORE: Lockdown diary: NHS picks up pieces while PM drops the ball

Think of our mums that we haven’t seen in more than three months and our other family members that we’ve only spoken to by phone, and get even more sad and angry.

DAY 75: The Heidie gets a visit from a nurse to check on her recent operation. The wounds are all healing nicely and she has been very, very brave. You can probably tell I love her to bits...

Or why else would I be up a ladder painting a wall?

DAY 76: Last clap for the carers? I don’t think so, as it’s a genuinely good thing and we are still not out of this slough of despond just yet.

That being said, the First Minister’s announcement of the start of easing out of lockdown is very welcome.

DAY 77: The Heidie and I have a long discussion on whether we should stop our quarantine after 11 weeks. We decide that can mean visiting the local shops and seeing our friends in the manner that Nicola Sturgeon said we could. So strict social distancing will be observed and masks will be on but we’ll leave our total lockdown from tomorrow. Whew!

We can’t do so without thanking all the people who have helped us survive 11 weeks of lockdown. It has been hugely, hugely appreciated and if you want to know how the human species can improve, just cite the spirit of West Linton.