IN the Sunday National’s lengthily titled article, Mike Small of Bella Caledonia highlights the success of the recent surge in interest in Scots identity and consciousness on learning the Gaelic language (Jekyll and Hyde no more: the popularity of Gaelic on Duolingo Gaelic should change what Scotland thinks … and hates about … itself, December 8).

He writes: “This splitterdom of course gives birth to the term ‘Caledonian Antiszygy’, the idea that Scots can hold simultaneously the “idea of dueling polarities within one entity’, thought of as being typical for the Scottish psyche and literature.” Mike goes on to add Catholic/Protestant splitterdom to his list.

Phew! See Embra intellectuals? The late Thurso Berwick – aka Morris Blytheman, Glesga adopted Fifer and “Orange Republican” who finally migrated to Edinburgh in the 70s – used to refer to the term as the “Scots Duality”, as did the Strathclyde academics the Gifford Brothers. Morris was a master of irony himself and very aware of Scots duality and multiplicity, penning Scottish Republican political propaganda to Orange, Irish, pop and music hall tunes, parodies and ditties, as did songwriter, impresario, publisher and still surviving Jim McLean, ironically based in Highgate, London, not far from Marx’s tombstone.

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The said article examples Robert Louis Stevenson’s Jekyll and Hyde as “Caledonian Antiszygy”. Much of his work, especially The Master of Ballantrae, shows the Scots duality in the dashing Errol Flynn-type character, The Earl of Durisdeer, dashing off to war as the “gay” Jacobite. See the duality of words since then? His dour Presbyterian brother was forced, by trickery, to reluctantly stay behind and look after the faimily estate.

The founder of Bella Caledonia, Kevin Williamson (cannae keep up wi‘ thae splits and Embra intellectuals) once telt me he thoaght Stevenson‘s schizophrenic nature was just down to cocaine. Ma freen’ Kevin and I split aff the schizoid SSP years ago.

I suppose planting an English tongue in a Celtic mooth is bound tae cause contradictions, or as Marx, Engels, Hegel, Plato and Patty Hearst would have it, walking aboot arguing wi’ wan’s self to come to a conclusion was a method in madness. Some call it symbiosis. In Scotland it is called arguing’ wi’ a brick wa’, or starting a fecht in an empty hoose.

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Just when we thocht splitism and argumentism was a Scottish and Irish Celtic thing, oor Anglo Saxophone superiors exploded into real madness and splittery. As philosopher Enoch Powell quoted: “Those whom the Gods seek to destroy they first drive mad”.

The English upper class educated themselves in the classics and studied the ancient tactics of divide and conquer so much that they are noo practising it oan themselves. The Empire is indeed descending into decadence and debauchery, Tory against Tory and Labourite against Labourite. LibDem inbetweeners arguing against their ain past and present. Whit a bunch o’ Sassunach Antiszygyists.

Major says vote Labour. Blair says vote Tory. Whit is the thick tae dae in the face o’ a’ this intellectualism?

Yorkshire has a saying: “There’s only thee and me that’s sane here and thee’s a bit queer”. See words changing again? Noo we have new words like “transphobic” and me just getting tae grips wi’ the wean’s transformers and shapeshifters.

Thank Gawd we have a real sane choice in Scotland, not open to the maddening crown doon south. Vote Nicola and the SNP for a real stable Xmas present for oor children, grandchildren and all those to come.

Donald Anderson
Glasgow