The National:

A LIFE-SIZED cake of the Queen has been baked to mark her Platinum Jubilee - because being a true patriot means wanting to devour the monarch herself, apparently.

Social media star Lara Mason, whose Cake Anything account has 2.7 million followers and more than 70 million likes on TikTok, took five days to complete her creation using Victoria sponge ... and provided a phenomenal illustration of Jubilee Hysteria in the process.

(Quick sidenote: Why are all British desserts named after royals or linked to imperialism? Empire biscuits, Victoria Sponge, Battenberg Cake ...)

The National:

The confection, containing 400 eggs, 20kg of flour and 20kg of butter, was served up to players at a branch of Buzz Bingo in Birmingham on Tuesday. Sure those products would have been welcomed at a struggling local food bank, but never mind.

Mason said: “This has been my biggest challenge in my career as the Queen is such a recognised and respected figure – I wanted to do her justice.”

READ MORE: The most cringe-inducing Platinum Jubilee branded items - see the full list

The sponge sovereign stood at a life-sized 5ft 3in before it was devoured by hungry bingo fans.

Mason said: “I’ve loved recreating her image out of cake and I’m so delighted that Buzz Bingo approached me to help celebrate Her Majesty’s Platinum Jubilee.

“It’s been amazing to see the reaction from players today.”

Let us know if there's anyone you'd like to eat a life-sized cake version of in the comments ...