SORRY sorry sorry seemed to be the hardest words for Boris Johnson this week, as he refused to backtrack on blaming care homes for the size of the UK's coronavirus death toll.

He couldn't even muster up a Priti Patel-style sneer and a “sorry if you misunderstood my statement blaming care homes as me blaming care homes”, instead opting to just repeat his thanks to those he had early claimed “didn’t really follow the procedures in the way that they could have”.

Of course, they couldn't follow procedures that didn't exist, and apparently the Prime Minister didn't know asymptomatic transfer was possible at the time, despite scientists repeatedly warning about it. So when he seemed like he was blaming care homes earlier this week, he was actually taking “full responsibility” for this situation himself. You see?

READ MORE: Boris Johnson rejects demand to transfer furlough powers to Holyrood

It's not entirely clear why Keir Starmer deserves to be branded Captain Hindsight for suggesting that the government should have put the brakes on transferring asymptomatic patients, as opposed to letting it happen then trying to pass the buck months later. But hey, there's always time for a quotable wee quip when discussing the deaths of one in 20 of the UK's most vulnerable elderly citizens. Good old Boris, keeping our spirits up amid the gloom! No wonder he is so often compared to Winston Churchill, by himself.

Instead of boning up on the virology evidence, Sergeant Oblivious must have been focusing his attention on more important matters – such as coming up with repetitive mantras that he can deploy as a shield when under enemy fire at PMQs. Questioned about parking charges for hospital staff? “Build build build for jobs jobs jobs!” Asked about Labour's plans for a wealth tax to aid the coronavirus recovery? “They want tax tax tax, we want jobs jobs jobs!” Deflect, distract, rinse and repeat (and repeat again) – it's a winning formula.

Ian Blackford's question, about extending the furlough scheme to avoid millions of people becoming unemployed, was not quite met with a “no no no, dole dole dole”, but there was certainly little reassurance for those facing redundancy. Taking full advantage of the sparsely populated House of Commons (and the digitally muted opposition), the Prime Minister managed to keep a straight face as he declared: “I think most people looking at what has happened in the UK over the last three or four months around the world have been overwhelmingly impressed...”

READ MORE: New York Times article scathing of England's virus tracing scheme

Yes, that's definitely the feedback we've been hearing from people around the world. So impressed. There's been one op-ed after another hailing the UK's magnificent response to the coronavirus crisis. And yes, I'm sure Angela Crawley's constituents will be delighted to learn that if they've fallen through the gaps in the furlough scheme they can simply apply for Universal Credit.

Jobs jobs jobs? There was little in this week's PMQs to provide reassurance that we're not facing yet another dose of austerity austerity austerity.