STUCK on ideas for stocking fillers this Christmas?
Worry not, the Orange Order has got you covered with their new coffee blend.
Finally looking to diversify its operations, the group is looking to get into the java game and just in time for the festive season.
Taking inspiration from the roots of the Glorious Revolution, the beans originate from the Dutch coffee houses in which King William planned his takeover of Britain.
NEWS | The Orange Order has launched its own blend of coffee, made from beans originating in the 17th century Dutch coffee houses where King William’s Glorious Revolution was plannedhttps://t.co/dw7H2QCb23
— Belfast News Letter (@News_Letter) December 8, 2022
One can’t help but wonder what the Orange Order would be up to if he had hatched his scheme in a cabaret bar or perhaps one of the modern Dutch coffee shops that offer a wider range of organic products.
On the coffee itself, David Scott, the Orange Order’s services and outreach manager, has said it is as much about “educating people” as it is about sales.
He added: “We wanted something unique, something marketable and something that ties in with the museum. The most important thing is to try and educate people, that’s why each set comes with a little card which explains the story behind the coffee’s origins.
“It’s another way of trying to get our people to think about the legacy, the history.”
Indeed, there is nothing quite as “unique” as a cup of coffee - often the Jouker laments the dearth of coffee suppliers on the walk to The National's office.
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Another way of interpreting the legacy and history of the Glorious Revolution is certainly something to consider, however, but a new brand of coffee is probably not what we had in mind.
Doubtless, the Orange Order will have no problem marketing the product and the internet has already come up with some excellent slogans.
One person suggested: "The sachet my father poured”
Another offered the simple yet direct “God save the bean”.
Regardless of how good the sales pitch is, The Jouker will probably stick with the Caffe Nero around the corner.
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