THE Queen’s Speech in Parliament is a lot of pomp and circumstance that surrounds the announcements of the Government’s plans for the coming Parliamentary term (traditionally for a single year, but some of them go a lot longer if the Government of the day is in a tenuous position).

The ceremony is ridiculous. There’s a car whose only passenger is a jewel-encrusted crown. People dress up in ridiculous clothes, a bit of pantomime goes on, the Queen (or in the case this year, the future King) comes in, and reads a speech that has been written on goatskin paper.

If you ignore the heraldry – which I have to or else I’d lose my mind – it’s not a ridiculous day at all. It is in fact a very serious occasion where we learn every bill the Government intends to bring to Parliament in the coming year.

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If you were in a country that, for talking’s sake, was suffering an economic meltdown and a cost-of-living crisis that will leave millions significantly worse off than they were just a year ago, you’d likely expect the Queen’s Speech to be full of plans to tackle that crisis.

Not so, with the Tories in Westminster. This Queen’s Speech didn’t make time for that. Instead, we had announcements about freedom of speech in universities, and privatising Channel 4. Playing at culture wars in the hope of distracting people from the fact they can’t heat their homes.

Speaking of culture wars, a prime example is the Conversion Therapy Bill, which made an appearance in this year’s Queen’s Speech. Banning conversion therapy is a must because conversion therapy is torture. That’s not me speaking, it’s the United Nations.

Conversion therapy is banned in Canada, Chile, France, Germany, Malta, New Zealand, and many more countries. The UK Government were going to ditch their plans to ban conversion therapy earlier this year, but U-turned due to the backlash. Now, they’re banning this torture of LGB people, but leaving it legal to torture trans people. So, this conversion therapy ban looks great at first glance, but like everything else the Tories propose, when you scratch below the surface you realise it’s not what you thought it was.

If that isn’t your flavour of culture war antics, they also announced a bill to prevent organisations from boycotting goods from certain countries. Or there’s the announced Bill of Rights to replace the Human Rights Act, for those who think human rights have gone too far these days.

If you’re not into culture wars, there’s other exciting things like … The High Speed Rail (Crewe – Manchester) Bill! Aren’t you buzzing? A bill to help extend the rail line we’ve already paid a fortune for that won’t even reach Scotland? No? Not buzzing? Oh. What about the Levelling Up and Regeneration Bill? Don’t you love Levelling Up and how it definitely means things will improve for you? No? You have no idea what Levelling Up means? Me neither. The Prime Minister certainly doesn’t, but maybe with this bill we’ll finally get an idea of what it means.

I know sarcasm is rubbish patter, but honestly for a government that’s only a few years old, this is the most tired set of policy announcements I’ve ever seen, and they deserve rubbish patter.

This government has absolutely no vision for the UK, and it’s no wonder. They’ve spent their entire time in office creating scandals and ducking for cover whenever they’re exposed. They have been breaking the law, having countless parties, and shuffling about Whitehall leaving sticky notes on the desks of civil servants they know are working from home.

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It can’t be said enough, the cost of- living crisis is horrific already, and it will only get worse. The Bank of England has confirmed we’re on the verge of recession, energy companies are on the TV warning us that bills are going to skyrocket again in the autumn. Inflation is going to continue, so if you have any money left after paying your huge new energy bills, it won’t buy you half of what it used to. The government could reverse their National Insurance hike or their cut of Universal Credit. They could tax the growing profits of companies and use that money to ease the hardship on people.

They could do a million and one things to improve this situation but instead they’re fuelling and fighting a non-existent culture war. While people are panicking because they can’t afford to pay for their gas and electricity, this government is chatting about privatising Channel 4 for being too woke.

They stand up in Parliament and talk about “jobs miracles”. The only “jobs miracle” I can see is that the Prime Minister still has one.