WELL, that certainly was the week that was, for those of us of a particular vintage. We’ve had the Chancellor’s admission that England UK Ltd can’t afford their precious Brexit without the resources of their northern province; we’re faced with the awful prospect of an apparent buffoon for Prime Minister; The National carried the story of accusations of SNP spies in Faslane. And that’s us on the wrong side of the solstice once again, but by the time it comes round next year there’ll be so much water under the bridge.

That a Johnson premiership is an existential threat to our county and our way of life is not disputed in civil company. He will undoubtedly rape our resources to feed his egotistical plans of a greater England. Remember he even had a proposal as Mayor of London to take our water to the south of his kingdom by a network of canals, and with his Trumpian outlook he’ll undoubtedly devise a way of getting us to pay for it.

Some argue any changes will be by way of slow strangulation of Holyrood, but that road leads to a people’s resistance which won’t fit his timetable. An early dissolution and the repeal of the Scotland Act is a lot less messy in the greater scheme of things, and very much in the spirit of Tory national unity. Once he’s declared a state of emergency and martial law in the Gareloch following a staged attack against a nuclear sub using a rocket launcher and a tin of red paint, putting the oil supply economy into “special measures” isn’t far behind.

Surely in these crazy times, if the Tory party are as mad as the polls have indicated this week, they’re certainly not above scrapping our renewables industries to punt their very expensive nuclear power in the pursuit of a carbon-free future in a UK-wide monopoly market. Now you may think I’ve been watching too much Years and Years, but hey ho, there was argument in court last week between claims from “senior military figures” and “top national security vetting experts” as to whether Chris McEleny was an SNP spy or not. Who did you say’s got the key to the dirty tricks cupboard?

However it’s quite possible that Queen Betty, our 95-year-old monarch, might do the decent thing and yet save the day for us. If everybody and their granny can see that buffoon-like Boris isn’t a fit and proper person to hold public office, let alone the highest public office in the land, we shouldn’t be surprised if she decides that as she’s already got a prime minister, admittedly not very good one, she’s really doesn’t need another who is distinctly inferior to the incumbent.

Imagine the conversation: “Well, Mrs May, after long and serious consideration we’ve decided that in the interests of our country, you won’t be retiring early and will be required to see out the current fixed term of the parliament. I take it you did read the small print that you serve at Her Majesty’s pleasure? Mr Johnson you say? Well, we’ve no problem with his democratic election as leader of the Tory Party but he’s certainly not getting the chance to wreck our United Kingdom. After all ... Dieu et mon droit. Yes, we’re well aware that’s not how the Scots see it, but you’ve not shown much interest in taking their point of view on board up till now so you have the choice ... carry out a period of the community service as Prime Minister until 2021 or spend the remaining time of your sentence in the tower.”

Now there’s 12 months until the next solstice but only 18 weeks till the very real prospect of a no-deal Brexit, so who’s creating the strategy for our escape from this dystopia? Why do we wait so long for the Scottish Independence Convention to actually do something? What role will Voices of Scotland play? Where are we with Yes.scot? We activists at the coal face can only hope that the collective wit of Sturgeon, Russell, Swinney et al have a cunning plan. Whilst we all appreciate the high command can’t discuss strategy in public, that level of optimism is only a few points higher on the optimism-ometer than optimism that Her Maj will do the decent thing and reject the pretendy, bumbling balloon as a suitable candidate for the highest elected office in the land.

Iain Bruce
Nairn