The National:

THE plot to destroy England has reached a new frontier in the culture war – tampering with a small flag on the national football strip.

That’s according to Twitter trolls anyway, who are fuming about changes made to the English football team’s strip.

Sportswear giant Nike revealed the new “forward-thinking” strips on Twitter/X on Wednesday.

One change to drew particular ire was, predictably, altering the venerable cross of St George, displayed on the back of the collar.

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On the horizontal stripe of the cross, the colours become bars of navy, light blue and purple – perhaps in a nod to the rainbow LGBT flag – in what Nike called a "playful" update.

One England fan fumed: “Mostly think the new kits are nice but no one asked for 'a playful update to the St George Cross'.

"You are the England team you should wear the England flag with pride and not whatever the fuck that is?”

Another raged: “I think you'll find a conventional red-only St George's cross is perfectly able to ‘unite and inspire’. This is an atrocious modification.”

One even went as far as to suggest they wanted the designer “killed”.

A man identifying himself as the lead guitarist for progressive rock band Gideons Mob (us neither) said the changes were “STUPID woke far left”.

One Twitter/X user under the handle “Mercian_Man” said: “Fuck off. This is a desecration of a national symbol.

"We must hold St George's Cross as sacred. This can't be allowed to pass.”

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But perhaps the most ridiculous comment we found about the new strip was this, from Twitter/X user Helen, who said rather breathlessly: “Outrageous, virtue signalling nonsense.

"The plot to destroy England and its history is leaching into every facet of our lives and we are impotent to do anything about it.”

Now that’s how you compose a properly barmy culture war tweet.

Someone help out Tory MP Brendan Clarke-Smith, who only managed a brief "eh?" in his response.

These people are can lose their minds about this all they like – but remember there is still no such thing as a “good” England top.