The National:

IF proof were ever needed that Scots is a distinct language from English then one Conservative MP’s attempt to recite Robert Burns in the House of Commons could surely be used as a prime example.

During an exchange with SNP MP Deidre Brock, leader of the House of Commons and former candidate for prime minister Penny Mordaunt reached for the words of Scotland’s bard in an ill-advised attempt to appear versed in Scottish culture.

Brock had asked Mordaunt why several pieces of UK Government legislation were stuck in “parliamentary purgatory” with little progress being made in terms of scrutiny from MPs.

She said: “Now, of course, the Government always has bucketloads of lame excuses for legislative hold-ups but I think we know the true reason.

“A couple of weeks ago the leader rather bravely tried to suggest a comparison between her party, completely engulfed in sleaze and scandal, and mine. A case of whataboutery so bold it should make a sailor blush.”

Never one to shirk an opportunity for public humiliation, Mordaunt looked to the Burns poem To A Louse in a predictably glib deflection from actually answering Brock’s question.

She said: “The honourable lady again invites comparisons. And I hope she will forgive me but I can’t go past this exchange without quoting Rabbie Burns.

“'O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us. To see oursels as others see us!'

“I’m sure the Honourable Lady and her colleagues could deliver that much better than I.”

Brock’s reaction of pained schadenfreude indicated just how successful Mordaunt’s attempt at Scots had been.

READ MORE: SNP MP asked Alister Jack to find 'resolution' to Scotland's gender reforms

While Brock may originally hail from Australia, the Jouker reckons her years living in Scotland make her a more than sufficient judge of Mordaunt’s butchered effort.

This is all without even confronting the irony of a Tory MP quoting a poem which shatters pretensions about social class and espouses the nobility of egalitarianism.

Though there is one line that the Conservative Party may find of use in their policies regarding free school meals.

“Gae somewhere else and seek your dinner. On some poor body.”