WHAT do these people have in common? Ruth Smeeth, Sonny Leong, Fiona Twycross, David Prentis, Frances O’Grady, Tom Watson, Sharon Taylor, and Kuldip Sahota? Give up? In fairness, it’s not an easy question.

They are all Labour worthies nominated by Sir Keith Starmer for “elevation” to the House of Lords. Once there they will join some of the meanest politicians around. Worse, Boris ­Johnson has proposed yet another bunch of ­mediocrities for ennoblement from the Tory ranks.

Upon their “elevation”, they will continue to make laws, without regard for public approval. Even when they screw up the simplest tasks they cannot be sacked. You pay handsomely for them, but they are beyond your reach.

As an example of the quality on the Lords benches, I give you the ermine-clad Baron Foulkes of Cumnock. Who he? None other than the former George Foulkes. His Lordship ­regularly preaches on democracy, without a hint of irony.

Readers with longish memories and a taste for the bizarre may remember this report. “The shadow cabinet minister suffered ‘a nasty fall on the slopes of Glenfiddich in July 1993’.

“At a party held by the Scotch Whisky ­Association, he drank adequately from the ­fountain of the water of life. One witness ­described Foulkes’s subsequent behaviour as ‘like Zebedee on acid’. The MP trundled back to the Commons for a crunch vote.

“Unfortunately, the pavements of ­Westminster dipped and rose like the deck of a clipper on a choppy sea, tossing him into the arms of ­pedestrians. An attempt to dance with a 70-year-old lady resulted in them both hugging the ­asphalt. Foulkes biffed one persistently ­helpful constable on the chin.

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“He was arrested and invited to spend the night enjoying Her Majesty’s hospitality. He pleaded guilty to assault and being drunk and disorderly and was fined £1050. He vowed not to drink whisky again.”

Worse, any one of the 800-plus of these charmers can criticise you with impunity. And they do. Baroness Ruth Davidson, formerly of this parish, recently tweeted to a waiting world that: “I don’t like paying more tax. But colleagues who were right on the need to restore the UK’s economic stability and credibility can’t criticise when the Chancellor does just that. Difficult but necessary decisions. The era of cakeism is over.”

In other news it is reported that Ruth ­Davidson trousered £15,000 for only 34 days in the Lords. Outrageous, most would agree, ­particularly when so many are struggling to heat their homes or feed their kids. But – and you can absolutely put money on this – from her privileged position she will continue to pour scorn on democracy while telling the rest of us that we have it all wrong.

Now, I don’t blame her, or any of the others noted above, from jumping on this gravy train. Why not trough with the rest? The folly is the nature of the second chamber. Its reform is long overdue. And to be fair, the Labour leader has promised a look at reform. Mind you, it is over 100 years since the Labour party vowed to ­abolish the House of Lords altogether. So, this “reform” could be a very long time coming.

The acid test of any real reforms is this: would all Labour Lords, including the inestimable Baron Foulkes, hand back their peerages and forego their expenses? I think not.

More importantly, any reform to the House of Lords needs to be part of much greater ­constitutional change. Simply swopping a horde of dilapidated “appointed” losers for a similar bunch of “elected” losers might accomplish ­little.

In saying that, please do not misunderstand me, there are a few bright spots among those sitting on the benches in the House of Lords. But it’s like grains of corn in a turd. They may have kept their integrity, but they are still ­surrounded in sh*t.

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The institution is so deeply flawed that it could only provide a useful democratic function as part of a wide-ranging reform of the British constitution. And that aint gonna happen.

There are just too many vested interests. ­Besides, the concept of “British” and ­“Britain” has outlived its time. Better accept this fact; and for Scotland in concert with the other ­independent states of what was once Britain, to work together in a new arrangement, minus the hype and baggage of yesteryear.

Independence matters to the whole island. Britain is stuck in a very costly and unhealthy rut. An independent Scotland may be the ­medication that fixes the UK’s constitutional constipation. People north and south of the ­border will be all the better for this release.