The National:

EVERYONE in Scotland should be able to rest a bit easier tonight.  

No, it’s not because any of the various crises facing the world right now have been solved, but because we’ve got Uri Geller on our side. 

That’s right, the self-proclaimed psychic has fired a warning to Vladimir Putin, promising to use “every last molecule” of his “mind power” to prevent the Russian president from launching a nuclear strike on naval bases in Scotland. 

In a post on social media, subtly titled “This is a warning to Vladimir Putin,” Geller said: “There are rumours and reports that you are seriously considering the strategic use of a nuclear strike against your ‘enemies in the west.’

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“I have also heard that your prospective targets include UK naval bases – in particular those on the western coast of Scotland. 

“So I am issuing this statement as a serious warning to you: If you resort to the use of nuclear weapons and decide to target Scotland – or any other country else in the world – your plans, and your missiles, will backfire on you! 

“I will use every last molecule of my Mind Power to prevent you from launching a nuclear attack.”

Well, that’s Putin told alright. 

It is nice of course to have Geller on Scotland’s side given he claimed responsibility for Gary McAllister’s missed penalty at Euro 96 which could have drawn the Tartan Army level with England. 

Ideally, you’ll be having a read of this on your lunch break and take the time to follow the magician’s very specific instructions. 

They read: “And I am calling on all the wonderful, peace-loving people around the world to join me.

“I want EVERYONE who is reading this to take just a few seconds to help me.

"Please stop what you are doing right now and just take five seconds out of your day to visualise a radiant, energetic force field – like a dazzling, golden shield in the sky – that will deflect and turn back any nuclear warheads that Putin attempts to deploy.”

The message didn’t end there though, Geller went on to directly address the Russian President. 

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“And to you, Putin, I say this: 

“As well as harnessing this immense energy of all our combined Mind Power – there are also forces far, far greater than you can imagine that I am sure will intervene to prevent you from starting a nuclear war. 

“They are watching and waiting, and they will STOP you.”

As defence tactics go, you have to admire Geller’s commitment to the all-caps and bold look – it’d be sure to strike fear into the heart of any leader.  

He continued: “Do not contemplate this dire course of action. 
“Please take heed:

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“If you proceed it is Russia, and its people, who will suffer the most. 

“Your mission control computers will crash, your navigation systems will fail and your missiles will malfunction.

“You have been warned.”

We should of course remember though Geller also promised to stop Brexit and we all know how that ended.

Geller's warning to Putin really just shows how anything is possible, especially if you put your mind to it.