The National:

DAVID Mundell, who was previously sacked by Boris Johnson on account of being a useless waste of space, has now been appointed by Johnson as his new trade envoy to New Zealand. A country on the other side the world whose borders are currently closed to the UK and where his primary job will be to sell out his own farming constituents - which is, after all, pretty much what he did during the entire Brexit process, so at least he has some relevant experience for the job.

It's not all bad though. His new appointment means that if you are a resident of Dumfries and Galloway, you're going to be seeing a whole lot less of him. And for that small mercy we should be grateful. It is after all about the only Brexit bonus that Scotland is going to get.

Mundell is the man who did nothing to protect Scottish interests when Youngs moved their fish processing plant to England and lost his constituency hundreds of jobs. This was after the UK Government had given the company a grant of £1.3 million. You can be sure that Mundell will display the exact same lack of commitment to defending Scottish interests in his new post in New Zealand.

READ MORE: Here's every time David Mundell changed his mind on indyref2

According to the BBC, the British government has already agreed to tariff free imports of lamb and beef from Australia, undercutting UK producers who adhere to much higher standards of livestock treatment and welfare. Mundell's job will be to repeat the same deal with New Zealand producers, further undermining Scottish livestock producers. When you're a Tory the consequence of failure is a reward and a cushy new job.

The same previous experience of selling out his constituents can't explain the man who has been appointed today as the UK's new trade envoy to Australia, former cricketer Ian Botham (below).

The National:

More grim Tory standards

You know that the Tories are having another shocker of a time when David Mundell is only their second-worst appointment of the day. Boris Johnson went shopping without a mask, Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab lounged on a beach and refused to take phone calls as Kabul fell to the Taliban, and we have an unelected English sporting personality doing trade deals on Scotland's behalf, along with David Mundell going off to New Zealand to find new ways to undercut the Scottish farming industry. And it's only Monday. That's an impressive "up yours" even by the grim standards of the Scottish Tories.

Up next we can look forward to Right Said Fred being appointed to the Department of Culture, Media, and Sport, Kirstie Allsopp as a junior housing minister, and Jim Davidson being given a role as a senior adviser on race equality and social justice.

READ MORE: Boris Johnson: Ministerial code breach claims over Hartlepool by-election

The fact that David Mundell has been given the exact same job as a sporting personality with no relevant experience whatsoever demonstrates that this is a fundamentally unserious job with a fundamentally unserious government. The British government does not realistically expect Ian Botham to make a major new breakthrough in a trade deal, and it certainly doesn't expect that David Mundell is going to do so either. Both of them are there simply to create the appearance that the Conservatives are doing something. The Conservatives know full well that Mundell would struggle to negotiate his way onto a number 61 bus, even if he was clutching the exact fare in his hand. That is why he was replaced as Scotland secretary at the very earliest opportunity.

In that respect, at least, the British government has a very good handle on the talents and abilities of David Mundell. By sending him off to New Zealand to do a non-job, they can hide his incompetence on the other side of the world even while they claim that a Scot has an important role in shaping the post Brexit trading landscape.