AN MP fought back tears as he revealed his mental health and alcohol struggles during an emotional Commons speech.
Speaking during a debate on Pride Month, Labour’s Dan Carden, MP for Liverpool Walton, said: “If I could give one piece of advice to a young person today it’d be this: be proud of who you are and who you choose to love.
“You may have had the frightening realisation that you feel different to the expectations that society has for you, you may be questioning your relationships, your gender, your sexuality.
“It is frightening, there’s good reason to be fearful, coming out is scary and you might suffer because of it. But what you probably haven’t been told is that hiding who you are into adulthood will cause you far more suffering anyway.
“Just growing up LGBT, the cumulative effect of those daily denials, the constant fear of being found out and the internalised shame causes a deep trauma.”
He highlighted high rates of depression, loneliness, substance abuse and suicide among gay men, adding: “Each of these in turn causing more shame, more fear and more trauma – it’s what happened to me.”
Carden told the Commons: “It took me a long time to admit that I was struggling with my mental health and alcohol addiction – actually it took repeated interventions from the people who really loved me. I didn’t know, I denied I had a problem, I suppressed my emotions – as I’d learned to do as a kid – and I told myself things were fine.
“Only looking back now have I been able to accept that in my 20s I twice nearly lost my life to alcohol saved only by the actions of others, drinking was destroying my body, it was damaging me and my relationships in so many other ways.
“Alcohol addiction isn’t about drinking every day or drunkenness. For me, it was about losing who I was over a long period of time.
“It was shutting down my personal life, using a drug – alcohol – to feel better but ultimately to escape and giving up on living. I now know it’s blighted most of my adult life.
“Fortunately, I have a mother who would protect me at all costs. A father who is the most generous, selfless man I’ve ever known. And a brother who has supported me through all this without judgment. And friends who, quite literally, saved my life.
“I’m now in my third year of recovery and I am proud of it. Like so many in the recovery community I am happy, I’m healthy, I love my life, I have a wonderful, loving partner and I appreciate everything that I have.”
Carden also told MPs: “It took AA meetings, psychotherapy and counselling to get here and, honestly, to stay here takes commitment and daily determination.
“I am in a privileged position, I’m all too aware that not everybody makes it. Addiction is fatal if not treated.
“I’ve gone from not recognising addiction in myself for so, so long to seeing it everywhere and doing its worst damage in the most deprived communities.”
Carden said addiction is “killing more people and ruining more lives than ever”, adding: “It’s killed members of this House and yet we would still rather hide its ugly reality.
“I hope my openness today can help challenge the stigma that stops so many people asking for help and nothing would mean more to me than to turn the pain I’ve been through, that I put my family and loved ones through, into meaningful change.”
He added: “Pride is about celebrating who we are without shame. In the end it’s a simple choice: choose to hide or choose to live. My advice is choose to live.”
Why are you making commenting on The National only available to subscribers?
We know there are thousands of National readers who want to debate, argue and go back and forth in the comments section of our stories. We’ve got the most informed readers in Scotland, asking each other the big questions about the future of our country.
Unfortunately, though, these important debates are being spoiled by a vocal minority of trolls who aren’t really interested in the issues, try to derail the conversations, register under fake names, and post vile abuse.
So that’s why we’ve decided to make the ability to comment only available to our paying subscribers. That way, all the trolls who post abuse on our website will have to pay if they want to join the debate – and risk a permanent ban from the account that they subscribe with.
The conversation will go back to what it should be about – people who care passionately about the issues, but disagree constructively on what we should do about them. Let’s get that debate started!
Callum Baird, Editor of The National
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here