The National:

LIKE clockwork, or mentions of 1966 during BBC coverage of the Euros, Gordon Brown has been telling us all why independence is a terrible idea again.

In case you’ve missed his fortnightly interventions, the former Labour leader isn’t all that fond of Scotland being governed from solely from Edinburgh.

It seems every couple of weeks he gives his thoughts on why Scots should be saved from the tyranny of self-governance.

Inevitably, speaking out that often will pretty quickly leave you short of things to say.

And so Brown is now well and truly scraping the barrel.

In a column for the Daily Mail, he explains why Scots will not be tricked into escaping the loving embrace of Westminster to make their own decisions.

Many have noted that Downing Street is engulfed in sleaze, and could really do with a good scrub clean.

Indeed, it’s all about the soap for Gordon.

Speaking for “middle Scotland”, the chunk of the population he identifies as being undecided about independence, he theorises that they “think differently from out-and-out nationalists”. As ever, he provides a nuanced description of independence backers…

“They are patriots who love our country, not nationalists who see life in terms of a permanent struggle between the 'us', Scotland, and 'them', the rest,” Brown writes. “They are waiting to see if there is some way for Scotland to continue as part of the UK.”

READ MORE: Gordon Brown claims indy debate could spark '50 years Scotland-England conflict'

And how does he know this? Why you only have to check the TV ratings of course.

The former PM continues: “Around 50% of Scots have relatives in England or the rest of the UK. And whether it's on the screen, in sport or in our everyday lives, the British link matters more than many will admit. Take soaps. More Scots watch EastEnders coming out of London than watch River City, the Glasgow-based rival.

“Even more Scots watch Coronation Street, which has almost twice as many viewers as Scotland's offering.”

Brown adds: “The Scottish-only Nine news programme from Glasgow was billed as the alternative to the BBC Ten O'Clock News from London — but few watch it, despite its multi- million budget.

“And when it comes to watching our favourite sport, many Scots find themselves more drawn every week to the glamour of the English Premier League.”

It's another cast-iron argument from Brown. 

Give it up, Nicola Sturgeon, Coronation Street has finished our hopes of independence.