LOCKDOWN may be over but some remnants from that time seem hard to unlearn. Along with the positive aspects of 2020 – the outpouring of solidarity and community organisation to protect those most vulnerable – there was also an undercurrent of meanness.

Who can forget those heady weeks where visitors to parks took photos of other visitors to parks to shame them for being out of their houses? In the assumption that – unlike their own – those people’s reasons for being there weren’t valid.

The refrain “We’re in the middle of a pandemic!’’ was used to tone-police anybody who had the audacity to moan, complain or simply admit they were struggling with the restrictions.

The harm caused by the coronavirus crisis is impossible to measure. Deaths, hospitalisations, job losses, loneliness and isolation brought misery to our shores.

Everybody was affected by it, though that horror wasn’t divided out equally. Some lost more than others. Lockdown was a different experience for the family in a large home with a garden and the single mum in a small flat without any access to private outdoor space.

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It is possible to both recognise that while resisting the urge to judge every negative emotion against the test of the worst possible circumstances.

Take last week’s row over transition events for children, for example. As we near the end of the school year, a lot of parents have expressed disappointment that milestone events that they would usually be looking forward to aren’t going ahead.

Many have pointed out that Glasgow’s Euro 2020 fan zone, with its thousands of attendees, has been given the green light, but families are unable to attend their wee one’s final-day-of-nursery ceremony. Or that many older children leaving primary school or high school won’t have their usual leavers events or proms. I’ve no skin in this game. My daughter will be going into Primary 3 after the summer. She’s not missing out on any transition events or celebrations. But those who are so quick to dismiss nursery graduations or end of year proms as frivolous and unnecessary should take a step back and remember what our young people have been through.

At a point in their lives where learning and socialisation is key, they were cut off from their pals and the routine of the school day. Home schooling – though necessary – was a poor replacement for face-to-face teaching. When the pandemic hit, they experienced the fear of the unknown just as adults did.

Too many of these kids will have suffered greatly in isolation. Not every child has a safe and loving home environment. Despite the heroic efforts of our teachers, some will have fallen through the cracks and not received the support or attention they needed. Milestones went uncelebrated and those starting and leaving school weren’t afforded the usual easing-in that makes those transitions easier to bear.

None of this is the fault of teachers. And I wouldn’t be so arrogant as to assume that I know more than the scientists advising the Scottish Government and suggest that cancelled transition events should definitely go ahead.

Maybe they should, maybe they shouldn’t. But in explaining the reasoning behind these decisions, and in the wider discussion about what to prioritise as restrictions ease, sanctimony doesn’t help anybody. You might not understand why many children and parents are disappointed. You might think that a graduation for a nursery leaver is daft, or that school proms are an American import that we shouldn’t waste our time on.

But empathy is just as important now as it was at the start of lockdown. None of us knows what anybody else is dealing with, or what struggles they have endured over the last year. We shouldn’t need to walk in somebody else’s shoes to know not to be a dick on Twitter.

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Right-wing reactionaries love the faux culture war over so-called “snowflake’” young people and how they’ve never had to suffer anything more distressing than an avocado shortage at Tesco.

It plays to the base urges of the crowd but it isn’t rooted in reality. Young folk demonstrated admirable resilience during lockdown. They stayed home to protect those most vulnerable. They missed out on a formative year of their lives and many of them helped out in their local communities while doing so.

It’s easy for jaded adults – focused on “more important things” – to forget what it was like to be young and the anticipation and joy that comes from these events. But if we play into the idea that only the “big things” matter we are showing age doesn’t necessarily bring wisdom.

We were all looking forward to something. A pint in the pub with pals. A trip to the cinema. Dining out. The re-opening of garden centres. Book shops. Charity shops. Hugging somebody we hadn’t seen in a long time. None of these are “big” things – we can survive without them – but they add something to our lives that we were eager to get back. We should remember that the next time we scoff at the disappointment of a young person who was looking forward to something, too.