The National:

WITH the Euros around the corner, Scots are united in a feeling of giddy excitement.

It’s been 23 long years since the men’s football team qualified for a major tournament.

The sense of anticipation is tempered by a healthy dose of trepidation, but most of us are just pleased to be there instead of watching on from the sidelines.

Yet there are always those who want to spoil the party.

Step forward prominent Unionist blogger Effie Deans, who thinks the whole tournament should be torn to pieces.

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Getting the ball rolling on the bonkers bandwagon, she argued that it’s ridiculous for individual member states of the EU to participate.

The blog reads: “The most baffling aspect of Euro 2021 is that it is an international tournament involving places that do not have an international relationship to each other.

"If the EU is the process of becoming a federation, which can be the only interpretation of its goal of 'ever closer union' why does it continue to have 27 separate football teams?

“The only teams that ought to be taking part are Turkey, Switzerland, Russia, Ukraine and North Macedonia, with only people from the European parts of Russia and a tiny corner of Turkey allowed to play. Clearly if you believe in the unity of the EU, and if you don’t what is the point of remaining, then the EU should have a single team as this would help develop the common identity so crucial for the EU project.”

Amazingly, there was even worse to come.

The National: Effie Deans' proposals would put Steve Clarke out of a job Effie Deans' proposals would put Steve Clarke out of a job

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Deans argued that the four nations of the UK should disband their football teams to form Team GB.

“The criterion for members of Fifa is being a sovereign state with wide diplomatic recognition. In 2016 Fifa defined a country as ‘an independent state recognized by the international community’.

“But Scotland is not an independent state, precisely because we rejected the chance to become one in 2014. Having explicitly done so it would have been logical for the Scottish Football Association to have disbanded … It’s no use those who lost complaining about this.”

You heard her, no point complaining about her watertight plan.

READ MORE: Union doesn't exist, claims Unionist blogger

Deans continued: “It is like arguing that Scotland is both independent and not independent. Of course, the SNP like to treat Scotland as being something that it is not (independent), but you cannot logically campaign for independence if you already have it.”

She concluded: “Just as the British government has finally seen the sense of ceasing to refer to the United Kingdom as four nations, because this only helps the separatists, so it should do what Germany did in 1990. It should unite our football teams.

“If the EU is serious about unification, it should do the same. At least then Scottish nationalists would understand that independence in Europe is a senseless concept as it would make clear that the parts of the EU are mere regions.”

So there you have it, Schrodinger's Scotland should disband its team and sign up to Brexit FC – what could possibly go wrong?

Not finished with her SNP bashing, Deans also claimed the party simply would not exist were it not for the landmark first international game between Scotland and England in 1872. Get your head around that one.

Astonishingly, her blog post didn’t go down that well.

Aberdeen University’s Dr Malcolm Harvey commented: “Absolutely bonkers Brit Nattery. 10/10 would read and guffaw at again.”

Stirling University academic Iain Docherty added: “This is a work of art in so many respects.”

Twitter user James put it more succinctly: “This is up there with the most ridiculous bollocks I've read in a good while.”