AFTER the election weekend, Scots were pretty sure they’d had their fill of bad takes from London.
Westminster pundits were eager to show off their knowledge of Scottish politics, even if that knowledge would be insufficient to pass a BBC Bitzesize quiz on the subject.
But just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes talkRADIO to take the debate to new depths.
The boffins in talkRADIO towers decided this week to talk about Scottish independence, with disastrous results.
READ MORE: London media figures can't stop talking rubbish about Scottish politics
Host Mark Dolan kicks off possibly the worst-informed discussion on the constitution you are ever likely to hear. He invites caller Pat, from London, to give his thoughts.
He asks: “If they ever won another referendum, how they going to defend themselves?”
The host, getting the ball rolling on a series on falsehoods, replies: “That’s a good question.”
The caller continues: “I listen to all these debates about independence in Scotland and Nicola Sturgeon – their economy wouldn’t be able to incorporate a fully functioning military.”
The massively suspect claim is deemed “correct” by Dolan, the authoritative expert on all things Scotland. It’s at this point viewers are hit with the horrifying realisation that the presenter is actually being serious.
READ MORE: Tories privately admit indyref2 mandate exists, party's former media chief says
Pat goes on to list the prices of several fancy sounding pieces of military equipment, which the host agrees we’ll have “no chance” of affording.
The caller, evidently keen to maintain a sense of balance in the debate, offers what he believes to be the pro-independence argument.
“I know what they’re gonna say. The Royal Air Force and Royal Navy and the Army will … eh … do that job.” Spot on. It’s like listening to Nicola Sturgeon.
He concludes: “Well then they’re not fully independent.”
“Exactly,” Dolan concurs. “And they’ll need a bailout and then they’ll also need our currency, Pat.
“It’s not clear what currency Scotland will have and the SNP have arrogantly said previously that they’ll take the pound.” Abandoning any pretense that we’re still talking about the UK, he asks: “Will England give them the pound?”
Pat replies: “Not being funny…” How wrong can one man be? “…if they went independent and they say the navy and air force bases up in Scotland are ours … well they’re not, they’re the Crown’s.”
Dolan, who at this point in time we came to suspect may have put on a voice and pre-recorded this call himself, thanks Pat and says “you’ve done me a big favour, because that’s another big argument against independence”.
He concludes an independent Scotland would be “sicker”, “poorer” and a “target for international bad actors”.
And the academy award for best comic performance goes to … Mark Dolan.
READ MORE: A misleading picture is being painted of Scotland’s international defence role
Many in the Yes movement would be forgiven for fearing this forensic take down would have torpedoed all hopes of a Yes vote.
Astonishingly, however, not everyone was convinced by the arguments aired on talkRADIO.
Twitter user Grant McKenzie wrote: “I can't think of better recruiting sergeants for Scottish independence than @mrmarkdolan and Pat from London. Or maybe I shouldn't say "sergeants" because an independent Scotland apparently wouldn't have an army according to the brains Trust here.”
Others pointed out that Pat and Mark may not quite have understood the intricacies of Holyrood’s funding arrangement.
There's so much sheer ignorance on display here I almost feel sorry for the pair of them:
— Ewan Hunter 🏴 (@EwanHunter) May 12, 2021
• We already own c.10% of the Bank of England (it's our currency too, not yours)
• Ditto Defence spend & assets
• Scotland is not owned by UK
• We'll sort out our own priorities
🏴🇪🇺🇺🇳🌍 https://t.co/yp7MdhDBVv
Even international observers were appalled.
One person wrote: “The condescension is also off the scale ... and the reason why Scotland should be independent.
“talkRadio, hello from Germany. This was just the silliest, most condescending, most nonsensical and most anti-democratic thing I've heard in a while.”
Politicians also had their say.
Green MSP Ross Greer commented: “Has Pat in London ever considered that he's what we'd quite like to defend ourselves from, not some imaginary foreign military waiting to storm our beaches?”
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