The National:

GARY Kelly is a well-known stalwart of the Scottish independence movement, but he is a fair-minded sort of guy who wants England to have indy too.

He applied to the people who run the Petitions website for the Westminster Parliament – you know, the one that promises “consideration for debate” in Parliament if you get 100,000 signatures – mischievously asking them to host a petition calling for  “Independence for England” so that our neighbours did not need to keep subsidising Scotland and the rest of the UK.

The reply astonished Kelly, for it rejected his petition on grounds that it contained “unsubstantiated claims, including claims about English taxpayers subsidising those in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland”.

So, the UK Parliament’s own people don’t believe England subsidises the rest of the UK? Heads will roll, we suspect.

It also referred Kelly to a petition he might consider. Started in December, Deborah Pollock wants “to ensure England has parity with devolved nations with members of an English Parliament voting on England-only issues”.

Its target is 10,000 signatures by May 1. As of last night, it has acquired precisely 42 signatures.