The latest debacle over furlough is yet more reason for Scots to break free

Does the Prime Minister worry about giving a blank cheque to big-spending Celts? Does he grudge having his England-means-Britain trope interfered with? Has the Treasury forbidden him from spending another unauthorised penny?

Who knows?

The one truly astonishing thing is that the PM without shame isn’t up to his usual trick – promising cash payments now, in the naïve belief he can dump the commitment later when the Scots aren’t looking. Friend, that day will never come.

Believers in the Union, meanwhile, are amazed they can’t get the PM or his parliamentary stand-ins to just utter that single sentence and put “SNP grievance-manufacturing” to bed once and for all.

Who’d have thought Fluffy would make such a spirited effort to get the words out of Treasury minister Steve Barclay, like a rarely seen, backstage prompt forced into the limelight to coax one single, well-rehearsed line out of a particularly stubborn actor. But no. David Mundell got short shrift – and him a sacked Scottish Secretary too – and sat down again clearly dumfoonert.

Indeed, dumfoonert has become a bit of a look for Unionist politicians, like LibDem MP Alistair Carmichael (described as a member of the SNP by the BBC for his own efforts to get a clear response).

But perhaps there was method in the madness. Perhaps the rebuttal of please from lesser mortals was designed to provide a mighty contrast with the heavily trailed intervention by Douglas “Superman” Ross. His eloquent and persuasive plea to a hitherto unbending Prime Minister would somehow save the day and win the promise of full furlough payments for Scotland whenever it’s needed. At least that was the script.

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But from the pained and slightly frantic gestures of the Scottish Tory leader making his staged and nervy appeal in the Commons, it wasn’t what actually happened. In his desperation, Ross even had the temerity to give Boris a visual prompt when the wooden lines they’d rehearsed didn’t give that much-needed guarantee of extra time for Scotland after December 2. It must be difficult to resist trying to choreograph the boss when you’re used to lording it on the pitch as a referee. But not even a theatrical point to the penalty spot would have focused Boris Johnson. He hadn’t forgotten what was agreed. He just wasn’t going to make the full commitment any rational First Minister would need to take tough, life-changing decisions about Covid.

And so the MP for Moray resumed his seat with the now familiar, dazed look of a prominent Unionist considering for the very first time, whether Scotland might indeed be better off as an independent country.

Of course, despite being reduced to sitting like a baffled stookie the Scottish Tory leader still obviously hopes and believes that the cavalry is coming and when the Treasury has figured out a way to give money to the ungrateful Scottish Government, via their awkward, devolved financial structures, the hesitation will finally end and equality of furlough cash will be delivered. Obviously. Because if not … Well, it’s unthinkable. How could Downing Street hand such a Covid governance nightmare to Holyrood and such a political nightmare to his own Unionist colleagues – in full sight of Scottish voters?

So let’s assume for a minute that this IS just a wee glitch – that a panicking Boris, jolted into lockdown plans by the horrific vision of makeshift mortuaries in ice-rinks, simply forgot about Scotland – again – and had his collar felt by the Treasury before releasing more details till they figured out exactly how to deliver. Let’s assume it all comes good in a day or two.

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WILL Douglas Ross suddenly look good and feel comfortable in his Scotland-saving Spandex pants again?

Or has Boris really opened Pandora’s box, creating deep-seated worries about the viability of the Union amongst people who had been on side?

There’s no doubt this has been a communications disaster – and not just because the Boris/Douglas posh-boy wrestling team couldn’t co-ordinate their moves. It’s deeper.

The Scottish Government’s handling of the Covid crisis has changed the language of government and political exchange. Gone is the stiff, formulaic, roundabout way of speaking, so beloved of Britain’s ruling class. Gone is the expectation that folk capable of addressing the public or running Scotland’s health service must be Baronesses, Sirs, Lords, Ladies or other incumbents of the House of Lords. Gone is the customary lack of detail amongst the great and good about changes that could devastate the “little people”. Gone are government briefing line-ups dominated by older men. Gone are experts and government ministers who sound like a bygone ruling class.

In Scotland, at last, there are leaders who sound like you.

It may be subliminal, but that massive change in the look and sound of governance has democratic force. It not only empowers citizens to hear their ain accents and turns of phrase used at the highest level, it throws distant, formal Westminster into very sharp relief.

Thus, Douglas Ross may feel he stole the show, when he “stood up for Scotland” in the Commons, but most of us saw a strangely old-fashioned, youngish man involved in a creaking set-piece manoeuvre that could have graced Dad’s Army. He was like a modern version of Captain Mainwaring without the fond nostalgia or essential mickey-taking support cast – playing to a nation hooked on late-night Limmy instead. Just the wrong tone. Adrift.

And of course, there’s that other wee problem – even if the Treasury fixes a way to deliver Covid furlough cash for Scotland after December 2, can Nicola Sturgeon and Scottish voters actually depend on it?

After all, Boris has form.

He bought off almost all opposition to his EU Withdrawal Bill with a complex plan that guaranteed no physical border on the island of Ireland in case that jeopardised the Belfast Agreement. But now that guarantee has proved utterly worthless and his government stands poised to break international law and let both parts of Ireland go hang.

Can a Scottish First Minister reasonably believe a guarantee of future fair play for Scotland from Boris will be honoured, when his guarantee to Ireland has so visibly failed?

Can Douglas Ross think his antics impress anyone, when the democratically elected leaders of the devolved nations can’t get a word in edgeways with a contemptuous Prime Minister?

This is where Scotland sits today – between the barren rock of Westminster and the hard places of Covid and Brexit.

Can anyone really argue that Scots would not do better handling every tricky situation ourselves?