RACHEL Maclean, UK transport minister, has announced that in the event of a No Deal (or even a poor deal no doubt), portable toilets will spring up to assist or relieve lorry drivers at lay-bys throughout the country as queues could impinge on lorry transport nationwide. It would also assist others drivers too.

Joking apart, what an inconvenience. We can surmise that the scheme will go out to private tender or, more likely, be handed to the myriad of pals to act as middleman, in the process picking up a fee for a pee!

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“Spending a penny” in this way will run into thousands. How, amid the Covid-19 epidemic, will hygiene methods operate in this great plan is beyond anyone’s guess, as the capacity of a portable loo to hold matter liquid and solid is not extensive!

It simply adds to the hysterical side effects of Brexit one did not envisage in taking back control. No doubt some will see it as a c**p response to a pressing matter!

John Edgar