THE Jouker had to look twice at the story yesterday about an Edinburgh-based security system firm called Boundary looking to hire a burglar to test their products.
“The individual we are looking to hire for the role will have previously been convicted of a domestic burglary, in order to help bring a unique level of insight to the table,” said Boundary.
“It makes sense for us to collaborate with someone who has the unparalleled experience and understanding of security that we’re looking for. By making a burglary conviction a pre-requisite for the job, we can make sure we pick someone with the experience we need and the work ethic to put that to good use.”
It’s a genuine offer by the firm, working with the Unlock charity to hire a reformed offender.
The job involves a two-to-three day week and pays £40,000 pro-rata, but there’s an obvious flaw in the scheme – if they have a conviction, the burglar obviously wasn’t that good at the job.
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All of which got The Jouker thinking ... what if the same logic applied to politics?
Boris Johnson could call up John Major or Tony Blair – he wouldn’t dare ask Gordon Brown – and offer them a few quid for advice on how to avoid making a complete prat of himself.
They would surely want huge fees for such an impossible task.
Rishi Sunak could call Norman Lamont or Nigel Lawson for enlightenment on how to deal with a prime minister that you know will sack you when you start to look smarter than the incumbent of Number 10.
Richard Leonard and Douglas Ross could ask any of the numerous Scottish Labour and Tory leaders of recent years for counselling on how to stop their parties ripping themselves apart.
Yes, there could be good jobs for the old boys and girls in this plan, but there already is a system for rewarding politicians who know all about failure.
It’s called the House of Lords.
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