IT was a downbeat FMQs yesterday. Nicola Sturgeon opened with an update on coronavirus, confirming 290 positive cases reported in the previous 24 hours, with 52 people in hospital. She said the R number is above 1, “possibly as high as 1.4”.
The usual sparring between the First Minister and opposition leaders was subdued. Ruth Davidson went on law and order. You may say that’s ironic given the antics of her Government this week, but I couldn’t possibly comment.
Davidson asked about the Victim Notification Scheme and said that only one in four victims of crime is signed up to it which, according to Victim Support Scotland, is because the system is too complicated. The First Minister said she wanted the system to be as simple as possible, but noted that not all victims want to sign up to it because some find it re-traumatising.
Richard Leonard raised the issue of testing, asking what assurances the First Minister had received from the UK Government that our testing capacity won’t be “rationed or restricted”.
If only there were some way to skip the part where Richard has to ask Nicola to ask Boris if Boris could give an assurance to Nicola so Nicola could report back to Richard. Can anybody think of one? Dammit, it was right there on the tip of my tongue but I’ve lost it.
These dry and sombre FMQs befit the times we are living in. But if you look closely enough there are always wee moments of joy to be found.
WATCH: Nicola Sturgeon scolds Willie Rennie on care home visits at FMQs
You never have to look too hard to find Christine Grahame, nor the good cheer she brings to proceedings. Mercifully, she can usually be found sitting a few seats behind the First Minister and always – without question – she will be wearing something that solidifies my (and I believe the entire country’s) belief that she is a sartorial icon.
Her resplendent outfit yesterday was testament to that. Words won’t do it justice but if I tell you it would make Joseph’s technicolour dreamcoat look a bit dour, you’ll get the drift. She coupled her coat of many colours with one of her famous brooches. A giant glittering eye, no less. We are not worthy.
Across from the all-seeing eye sat the “nothing to see here” Scottish Tories.
The big news this week is that the Tories are up to their old tricks again. No, not all that dodgy dealing – the other one. Not the dark money stuff, the other one. No, the … och, I’ll just tell you.
I am, of course, referring to the Internal Market Bill – and the international-law-breaking-but-only-a-wee-bit ramifications of it.
Joan McAlpine asked: “Does the First Minister share my concern that the UK Government’s blatant power grab – masquerading as the Internal Market Bill – means critical funding that should be transferred to the Scottish Government will instead be controlled by Boris Johnson and the Tories at Westminster, regardless of the spending priorities of the people of Scotland?”
The First Minister, who was by this point clearly looking for her own wee moment of joy, did share Joan McAlpine’s concern. She was absolutely concerned.
And not just in a limited and specific way, either.
“Yes I do. I have many and varied concerns about the Internal Market Bill. Firstly, it breaches international law, something that the Advocate General for Scotland clearly couldn’t stomach – he resigned his post.
“Unfortunately, the Scottish Conservatives just roll over and accept anything that Boris Johnson decides to do.
“Secondly, it is a power grab on this Parliament. It gives the UK Government the ability to override or undermine the spending priorities of a democratically elected Scottish Government supported by a democratically elected Scottish Parliament.”
She went on to describe the bill as a “full frontal, no-holds barred, assault on devolution”.
The Prime Minister might have had a nightmare of a week, but at least the First Minister has helped him write his new Twitter bio.
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