AS dissatisfaction with Richard Leonard’s leadership of Scottish Labour grows, the time has come for a change of strategy.

Polls show that most voters don’t know who he is. Hostile press briefings show that many in his party would rather not know who he is. Times are tough for Dickie.

Ahead of FMQs, some bright spark in Scottish Labour – either friend or foe – must have convinced Richard Leonard that he needs to speak for longer (and louder) if he wants to make an impact.

His opening question which, for the sake of accuracy, we should really describe as a mini-speech, had a dreary, father of the bride vibe. Unfortunately for Leonard, none of his colleagues were willing or well-lubricated enough to hiss at him ‘’WRAP IT UP, DICKIE. YOU’RE LOSING THE ROOM!”.

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Buckle up and prepare yourself for his first ‘question’. If you missed FMQs and are seeking a more immersive experience, try SHOUTING every fourth word or so, whether it makes sense or not.

“Scottish Labour’s greatest concern is ensuring that those who are in need get the support they need, when they need it. The Covid-19 pandemic has shown the value of solidarity and the value of working together. That’s why we are calling on the UK Government to extend the job retention scheme beyond October, to save businesses and jobs. That’s why we are calling on the Scottish Government to deliver a quality jobs guarantee scheme. And it is why we are calling on both governments to co-operate – to work together – to deliver job retention and job creation. So can I ask the First Minister again, will she join with us to pressure the UK Government to extend the job retention scheme … and will she commit to a quality Scottish job guarantee scheme, delivering secure jobs based on the principles of fair work … and will she do it before the end of October?”

The First Minister herself is no stranger to a lengthy answer in the chamber. That’s what happens when you’ve got a Presiding Officer as reluctant to use the wee hammer as Zen Ken is.

“I don’t know where Richard Leonard has been for the last few weeks. I’ve been asking the UK Government to continue the furlough scheme ALMOST EVERY DAY, for weeks. So I’m glad that Richard Leonard has now decided to back that call. The Scottish Government has also set out plans for a youth jobs guarantee scheme.”

Unsurprisingly, Sturgeon then picked up on Leonard’s Better Together throwback and ran and ran … and ran with it.

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“I have to say that Richard Leonard is still capable of surprising in this chamber. I didn’t think it would be him today that stood up and extoled the virtues of Scotland being governed by a Conservative Westminster government, I thought that might have come from the other side of the chamber.”

She pointed out that the furlough scheme is funded by the UK Government with money it has borrowed. She reminded Richard Leonard (he’s under a lot of pressure just now, it might have slipped his mind) that the Scottish Government doesn’t have those borrowing powers. Before referring to Leonard as ‘’Boris Johnson’s chief cheerleader’’ she invited him to consider how different things could be.

“Use your imagination. Imagine Scotland was independent right now. Richard Leonard wouldn’t have to ask me to plead with a UK Government to extend the job retention scheme – we could do it OURSELVES, here in Scotland, like other independent countries the world over. It’s probably that conclusion that has led to the situation we have right now. Where almost half of Labour’s remaining supporters – a dwindling band of people, I grant you – now support Scotland becoming an independent country.”