SCOTTISH political Twitter is well known for its ability to take any insult and turn it around on its head - so when Jackson Carlaw referred to the SNP as a "faith-based cult" it wasn't long before the perfect response was trending.
Behold, some of the best SNP commandments to be delivered by the faithful.
Thou shalt in all circumstances, henceforth, upon greeting any male under 6ft tall, even though it be just by a bawhair, with "Awright wee man" #SNPcommandments
— Oor Blaze fae Skye (@Blazespage) February 16, 2020
#SNPcommandments thou shallst get thysels a proper Scottish dug like me and no ane o them cockiepoo hingies pic.twitter.com/ObZVIlryUI
— WeeDoogie (@dug4indy) February 16, 2020
And God created the Earth in 6 days, and on the seventh day She fashioned Scotland's hilly bits, but they turned out to be far too beautiful, so God then created Scottish weather to balance it oot a bit. #SNPcommandments
— WG Saraband 🏴🇵🇹🏳️🌈 (@wgsaraband) February 15, 2020
Thou shalt always refer to the main light fitting in the living room as 'The Big Light' and it shall be used sparingly.#SNPcommandments
— Susan Jamieson (@SuzJamieson) February 15, 2020
Thou shalt not shop for groceries, but "will go get the messages"#SNPcommandments
— David K-A 🏴🇪🇺🐶🐕🐾👨❤️👨🌈 (@tiggtag) February 15, 2020
And lo, it doth come to pass, Carlaw of the mighty Jackass did spouteth some shite and Gods people didst taketh the piss mightily. And the people didst sayeth, 'aye, is that righteous, or didst ye heareth it oan the BBC' #SNPcommandments
— George D. Cruden (@gdcfjr) February 16, 2020
Thou shall never disembark a bus without offering up words of gratitude to the driver. Or may thoust burn in hell for eternity #SNPcommandments
— 🏴Indy Not Westminster🚫 (@verbalpunchbag) February 16, 2020
Thou shall always yell “do you think this is the Blackpool illuminations” when there is more than one light on in the house #SNPcommandments
— 🏴Scouseweegian (@scouseweegian) February 15, 2020
Thou shall listen patiently as yir maw reels aff yir siblings, her siblings and yir cousins names before she finally gits tae yir name.#SNPcommandments
— Karen 🏴🇪🇺⭐🚴♀️🍸💃🏞🌈 (@KarenLWilkinson) February 17, 2020
Thou shalt not burn down architectural masterpieces, twice, then head an enquiry into the burnings thereof, unless thou uses Brasso on thy neck#SNPcommandments
— Oor Bee🎗 (@homelesshorse) February 15, 2020
Thy people of Scotland shall protect the sanctity of the cone at all costs #SNPcommandments pic.twitter.com/z83WchvjYz
— 🏴Scouseweegian (@scouseweegian) February 15, 2020
Thou shalt walk 500 miles
— John Robinson (@jdr1002) February 17, 2020
And thou shalt walk 500 more
Just to be the Yesser who walked 1000 miles
To genuflect at her door#SNPcommandments pic.twitter.com/vTsbWfVK40
Thou shalt not push one’s granny from a multiple transporter of public personage, as behold she is your mammys mammy.#SNPcommandments
— Greum Bèicear (Bakes) (@BAKESY61) February 15, 2020
Thou Shalt always proclaim ‘that’s no goin’ anywhuur’ when you tightly fasten any item down. #SNPcommandments
— Cookie (@Chris_Cook9) February 17, 2020
Thou shalt exalt loudly "Moan up, kettles oan!" whenth a Brexity refugee mentions moving to Scotland. #SNPcommandments
— Stìobhan Nobad 🎗 FBSI (@StevieNobad) February 17, 2020
Thou shalt never wearest undergarments beneath thy kilt nor addith salt to thy porridge for these are abominations in the face of the Sturgeon #SNPcommandments
— James R Thompson (@sunhoney90) February 17, 2020
Thou shall always yell “do you think this is the Blackpool illuminations” when there is more than one light on in the house #SNPcommandments
— 🏴Scouseweegian (@scouseweegian) February 15, 2020
Even the big man himself chimed in.
Thou shalt cease thine search for the positive case for the union, for the union is barren and shalt produce no fruit. #SNPCommandments https://t.co/Sdp4NsruTV
— 🏴 Indy Jesus 🏴 (@indy_jesus) February 15, 2020
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