The National:

THERESA May has graced us with her presence once again, taking part in her first public interview since resigning as prime minister back in July. 

And she's come a long way since she gained the "Theresa the Appeaser" nickname we all remember so fondly. May is now a beacon of self-confidence, an inspiration to people everywhere who don't feel sure of themselves ...

At the Henley Literary Festival the former PM was asked if she had any regrets relating to her time in office. "No I don't think so. I have had a fantastic time," she replied.

Saying you have "no regrets" is appropriate when you've had a long shift, get home, order too much Chinese food and cancel your spin class reservation at the gym later that night. Or if you buy clothes you don't need during a late-night online shopping frenzy. Or when you throw freshly washed clothes into your wardrobe before you get round to ironing them. Pretty inconsequential stuff.

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May seems to have missed the memo on casual usage of the "no regrets" phrase, or she really just doesn't do "normal people" stuff like the rest of us. To her, "no regrets" is messing the UK up so much that Boris Johnson becoming the Prime Minister is, like, totally chill and fine to a significant number of people.

May's "no regrets" is the Windrush scandal. May's "no regrets" is the failure of the implementation of Universal Credit. May's "no regrets" is food banks. May's "no regrets" is "systematic" and "tragic" poverty across the UK, according to the UN special rapporteur. May's "no regrets" is telling us "No Deal is better than a bad deal". May's "no regrets" is appointing Johnson as foreign secretary. May's no regrets is arming and backing a Saudi dictatorship. May's "no regrets" is the hostile environment. May's "no regrets" is the Grenfell fire.

May doesn't regret any of the things that have plunged the UK into spiralling chaos, a seemingly infinite decline in which increasingly aggressive and violent language and behaviour seems more and more normalised by the day. 

READ MORE: Eight weeks of chaos: a recap of Boris Johnson's reign so far

The Tory MP told her audience at the literary festival that she's thinking about writing a book. "It has been suggested to me that people involved in significant events should write about them so historians can look back and see what those who were at the centre of events were thinking, why they took decisions and so forth," she said.

Trust us, May. History will very easily be able to look back at those events - and we know how they will judge you.

As one of the last prime ministers of the United Kingdom.