The National:

BORIS Johnson impressed Scottish Tories with his fish-based comedy content at a Tory conference event this weekend. 

A video has surfaced of the Prime Minister's extremely original patter involved pointing out that Sturgeon and Salmond are (almost) names of fish.

Cue a *hilarious* observation about the EU's Common Fisheries Policy.

Yikes. Stomach hurts from the cringe. Unlike the Tories, whose stomachs are sore from genuinely finding the joke funny.

Despite these jokes having circulated for nearly a decade now, the Prime Minister said: "Incredible how people called Salmond and Sturgeon are quite inimical to the interests of Scotland and Scotland's fish.

"So let's defeat them my friends."

Johnson seems to have been more focused than usual on the work of the Scottish Government over the past week.

Wonder if that could have anything to do with multiple polls predicting the SNP will nearly wipe out his party in Scotland, or perhaps SNP MP Joanna Cherry's legal work leading to him being found to have acted unlawfully in proroguing Parliament by the Supreme Court?

READ MORE: PM calls Scottish Government 'incompetent, dissolute and reckless'

Last week, the PM accused the Scottish Government of being "incompetent, dissolute" and "reckless" which, given the current situation at Westminster, is genuinely a funnier joke than his fish themed banter.

And yesterday he hinted he would block Nicola Sturgeon from a key international climate summit due to be held in Glasgow next year. 

READ MORE: Boris Johnson: I want Union flags, not Sturgeon, at summit

Johnson, if we're such a burden, why oppose independence so strongly?