The National:

THE Jouker has a theory.

Mind that time that Boris Johnson seemingly shoehorned into an interview an anecdote about how to relax he likes to make model buses?

Well we know that isn’t true, to relax he surfs the internet on his laptop – presumably after screaming at Dominic Cummings to get off the f***ing thing.

We also know it’s not true because Boris Johnson is a pathological liar. We’d sooner trust Lance Armstrong to oversee the Russian Olympic Committee at the next Games than believe anything that comes out of the Prime Minister’s mouth.

We’ve been developing this theory – which we’ll get to in a minute – behind the scenes at tHe National since the blundering Boris bluffed about building buses out of crates and painting them, complete with “happy” passengers.

The whole thing sounded so positively insane that it just cannot be true, even for a batty buffon like Johnson.

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Anyway, our theory is that the Prime Minister is making such comments in an attempt to bury his greatest misdemeanors from Google searches.

When you are asked to think of Boris during the EU referendum campaign, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? The big red bus with the big, bold lie of the campaign pasted on the side.

Now when you google the words “Boris Johnson” and “bus” together, the top searches are his mundane story – in the fictional sense of the term – about him making toy buses.

We were given further evidence for our theory today. Didn’t it seem bizarre that he weighed into the debate about whether or not a bridge should be built between Scotland and Northern Ireland? Only £15 billion, he said.

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Previously, when you searched for Boris and the word bridge, articles about his absurd failed vanity project while he was mayor of London would appear.

Johnson, inspired by the comic Joanna Lumley, wanted to build a pedestrian Garden Bridge across the Thames.

Total cost of the failed project = £53 million. The amount that came from the public purse = £43m.

Now when you google those terms together, Boris banging on about a bridge connecting two nations he seems to have little regard for will appear at the top of the page.

If next week, in a tell-all interview with Laura Kuensberg, he sensationally reveals the time Brian May from Queen lied to him about dressing up in a burka and putting a Rudyard Kipling poem addressed to Iran in every letterbox in London, we’ll have cast-iron proof he’s at it and that our theory is true.