ON “WTF Wednesday”, as it shall now be known, the tinkling tunes of the anti-Brexit glockenspiel player rang out from Westminster and howls of fury and ecstasy reverberated across the land.

There was only one temple of silence amidst the din at the breaking news that Boris Johnson was trying to break Parliament.

In a few days that were characterised by noise and reaction, trailblazing Scottish Labour took a more dignified and analogue stance.

Rather than respond to the news that Boris Johnson was going to push the big red button and ask the Queen to prorogue Parliament, in a bid to thwart any attempts to stop a No-Deal Brexit, Scottish Labour kept its counsel.

What did its leadership think of the move which Speaker John Bercow described as a “constitutional outrage” and which Nicola Sturgeon said made Boris Johnson look like a “tin-pot dictator”?

Nobody knows.

In ye olden days, where political parties communicated their message to the electorate through the medium of SAYING SOMETHING, Scottish Labour sought to bravely forge a new path in political campaigning.

It had a Where’s Wally? effect on political commentators. “Where is Richard Leonard?” we asked. Like besotted lovers we scribbled his name in our notebooks, adorned it with hearts, and waited and wondered: what’s on his mind?

Anticipation was mounting. All the opposition party leaders had released their responses to the news. This included Arlene Foster and the Change UK/TIGers/Independent Group for Change/How-Many-Times-Shall-We-Change-The-Name grouping of MPs.

We were led to believe that Richard Leonard had a treat in store for us. That when he finally emerged, he would be REVVED UP and decorated with tassels and body glitter. Surely he was saving the best till last?

At this point, there had been five days of tumbleweed over on the Scottish Labour official Twitter account.

With 40,000 followers, it has an audience base of a similar size to that guy from the second series of Big Brother and the woman up the road whose cat-in-a-pram video went viral in 2002.

This may go some way to explaining why it took us so long to notice that the staffer in charge of it had went AWOL.

And then – finally – there was a flicker of activity. Like a dying bee on the pavement fluttering its wings for the final time.

Scottish Labour shared a link to a UK Labour petition telling Boris Johnson not to shut down Parliament, with a GDPR compliant box to tick if you didn’t want the party to use your data for marketing purposes in future. The Tories must have been positively quivering with fright.

Over on the must-read feed of Scottish Labour leader there was still nothing on the crisis engulfing UK politics.

And so, when Richard Leonard did finally break cover, imagine our surprise – nay, SHOCK – that it was to clarify Labour’s latest position on a second independence referendum.

I’m reluctant to set it out for you, for fear that it will have changed again by the time this newspaper goes to print, but here we go.

The latest, LATEST Labour position on indyref2 is as follows: “During the formative years of an incoming Labour government, we would not sanction a Section 30 order to allow a further referendum on Scottish independence to take place.”

Well that’s that then. Put your foam fingers and Yes badges away because Richard and Jeremy have spoken. This wrangling over how obstructive and undemocratic Labour are prepared to be towards the Scottish Parliament – should it get into government – is as self-indulgent as it is silly.

As far as long-term planning goes, it’s about as effective as measuring blinds for the house you are going to own when you eventually win the lottery.

And we know it won’t hold.

It can’t hold. If Labour do manage to pull together a majority in the aftermath of a snap General Election it will be with the help of SNP MPs. The idea that Nicola Sturgeon – in the face of this useless shower of bumbling idiots – is going to meekly accept an offer from Corbyn that promises indyref2 after the “formative years” of a Labour government, is laughable.

My iPhone holds its charge longer than Labour can stick to a position on indyref2 or Brexit. With that it mind, it would be foolhardy to analyse this latest pronouncement too closely or with undue seriousness.

Scottish Labour should carry its communication strategy to its natural conclusion.

We’ve seen the party go from ear-splitting highs to whispering, croaking lows.

If Jeremy Corbyn finds himself on the cusp of power and channels all his inner sexiness to court the backing of SNP MPs, he will ghost Scottish Labour faster than your average guy on Tinder.

A vow of total silence from Scottish Labour under those circumstances might go some way to sparing their blushes.

Shhhh, Richard. Don’t worry. Nobody will notice.