YOU know what I was thinking just the other day? Those silly climate scientists have spent too much time lately trying to prevent the impending environmental catastrophe that would likely wipe out civilisation as we know it.
Luckily for me London-based Brexit MEP Lance Forman has been thinking the same thing. And he's very kindly thought up a suggestion of what those researchers could be doing instead.
On Twitter, Brexiteer journalist Julia Hartley-Brewer was asked what she is doing about climate change after posting an article about teen activist Greta Thunberg with the caption "yawn".
She replied: "Me? Mostly not worrying about spurious claims of an imminent catastrophe and enjoying the sunshine. You?"
Me? Mostly not worrying about spurious claims of an imminent catastrophe and enjoying the sunshine. You? https://t.co/H1Yr01Hnsp
— Julia Hartley-Brewer (@JuliaHB1) August 13, 2019
In what can only be described as an inexplicable response, our man Forman stepped in at this point to share his beautifully cartoonish method for tackling environmental issues.
Forman tweeted: "This is not BXP policy but I have always found people to be happier when the sky is blue - summer or winter.
"So why not get our climate scientists to change their focus to solving daytime cloud dispersal and also nighttime rain to water the plants. Joy trumps Armageddon fear."
This is not BXP policy but I have always found people to be happier when the sky is blue - summer or winter. So why not get our climate scientists to change their focus to solving daytime cloud dispersal and also nighttime rain to water the plants. Joy trumps Armageddon fear.
— Lance Forman MEP (@LanceForman) August 13, 2019
In case, like me, you had to read that several times over to understand what it means, Forman is essentially saying: Let's stop worrying about the climate crisis that there is endless amounts of scientific evidence for, let's get our researchers out there learning how to literally play God and make it sunny when I'm awake but rainy when I'm asleep!
Yeah, for obvious reasons, not possible.
Twitter user @mikeeboosh kindly stepped in and let the MEP know that what he was suggesting was ridiculous.
He said: "Unfortunately that won't be possible, mostly because it sounds like your understanding of academia and the mechanisms of how peer reviewed scientific method is applied seems to have come from watching the movie The Nutty Professor.."
READ MORE: Scotland’s Brexit Party MEP asks if it’s time to shut Holyrood
And Forman's reply to that was even more oblivious: "If you told people 100 years ago that you can speak into a device in your hand and take moving pictures and send them to the other side of the world they would have thought you were a nutty professor too."
Computer science probably isn't the same as altering entire climate systems, not for the benefit of all life on earth but because the sun makes people happier, maybe?
Surely the logical conclusion if you really do prefer hotter temperatures is to move abroad? Maybe Spain?
Oh, wait ...
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