USING avoidance strategies is common at times of crisis. You don’t want to face up to the reality, so you busy yourself with other things. Like when I’ve got a deadline fast approaching and suddenly decide to Marie Kondo my pants drawer.

I fear that Jackson Carlaw, the poor wee soul, is in the grip of this. As his colleagues at Westminster are sailing the Brexit ship into the eye of Sharknado, he is studiously avoiding newspapers and pretending everything is hunky-dory.

It was with this level of detachment that he asked Nicola Sturgeon about the lack of subject choice for students at some Scottish schools. An important issue, you’ll agree. Kids should be able to study a full range of topics and benefit from a comprehensive learning experience (etc, etc). The timing seemed odd though, because if we head into a no-deal apocalypse then the usual school subjects will be scrapped anyway.

Students won’t be learning Maths, or English or how to cook rock buns. Curriculum for Excellence will quickly be replaced with Curriculum for Survival.

School pupils will be equipped with the skills necessary to navigate the Great British Fight for Food.

Out goes trigonometry and in comes classes on foraging, building fires and learning which mushrooms offer vital calories and which will, in fact, kill you.

Nicola Sturgeon responded to his question by saying that a record number of Scottish students were now going to university and to "positive destinations".

"Not for long … " muttered John Swinney, knowingly.

I have sympathy for Jackson Carlaw. He must be feeling pretty powerless right now. Scottish Tory MPs were meant to be Ruth’s boys at Westminster but they’ve since been indoctrinated and – under the instruction of Theresa May – have unfriended all the Tory MSPs on Facebook.

READ MORE: Nicola Sturgeon lambasts Theresa May for Brexit compromise failure

Brexit has caused tensions between the two groups and a break-up seems imminent. The only thing that’s delaying their conscious-uncoupling is deciding who will be forced to have sole care of Ross Thomson.

With all the wisdom of a teenage girl in a horror movie who has decided to go for a kip in a cabin in the woods, Richard Leonard asked about Brexit.

A rammy was sure to follow. Sturgeon had her Big Book of Scathing Comebacks ready and waiting. Alex Rowley was poised to give hauners if Dickie so required. The chamber was tense.

However, doomsday seemed to unite the two leaders and the exchanges were constructive as they discussed the preparations being made for a no-deal Brexit.

The National:

"No matter how much planning we do it will not be possible to mitigate every impact of a no-deal Brexit," said the First Minister.

Richard Leonard thanked her for her "co-operative tone" and pressed her further on whether the Scottish NHS had six weeks reserves of the medicines we would need in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

Before answering, Nicola Sturgeon whipped around and stared down the Tory benches who had been laughing during the question about medicine shortages.

READ MORE: Nicola Sturgeon slams Tory MSPs for laughing during medicine shortages question

"This is not a laughing matter!" said the First Minister as her MSPs shouted "Shame! Shame! Shame!" at the Tories.

She went on: "Every Conservative MSP and MP should be hanging their heads in shame that they have brought this country to the brink of crisis." Jackson Carlaw’s inner voice whispered "Crisis? What crisis!" as he struggled to understand what on earth everybody was getting so stressed out about.

It would require a universally liked figure to bring the temperature down a notch. Somebody known for his affability and cheeky grin. Willie Rennie rose from his seat and MSPs breathed a sigh of relief.

Mr People’s Vote was asking – of course – about a People’s Vote. Smiling coquettishly at Nicola Sturgeon, he said he was pleased that he had "charmed" her into supporting it.

Nicola Sturgeon responded by saying she hoped she could charm him into backing indyref2.

It was all very charming.

Jackson Carlaw still didn’t have a clue what was going on.