Rebecca Stewart volunteers with Scottish Families affected by Drugs and Alcohol
GROWING up, I often felt alone and frightened because of the effects of alcohol addiction and the destruction it brings to families in the form of anger, sickness and just total chaos.
It was not discussed much because it was, and still is such a shameful and not well-understood condition. For a long time, I thought it was normal, I thought the anger and chaos was my fault. As a child, I struggled to have fun, be happy and enjoy life the way a child, teen, and young adult should. As I grew older, the problem became more apparent but still, we did not discuss it in the family – nobody asked how I felt and there was nobody to talk to about it.
I eventually found the support that I needed from a local meeting group, for the family and friends of alcoholics, when I was much older. We would meet and share our stories, sometimes crying and sometimes laughing – it was an enormous relief – the power of just talking about problems and concerns and worries, is profound.
Knowing that there were many families learning to cope with the same strange behaviour and sadness that I was, allowed me to grow up finally, from a frightened child and into a caring and happy adult. Here, I learned that it was not my fault, came to understand addiction and even develop compassion for addicts. If I had this support earlier in my life, I may have been happier, less lonely and ashamed of what was happening.
My family history is my strongest motivation for volunteering for Scottish Families Affected by Drugs and alcohol (SFAD), a charity that provides listening, as well as practical support to those who are affected by a loved-one’s addiction. I have been a volunteer for around nine months and simply listen to the stories and concerns of people who love someone who is abusing alcohol or drugs and can hear the worry, anxiety and concern and remember those feelings.
Sometimes it is upsetting but knowing that they might feel less lonely and may be on the road to helping themselves to feel better, realising that it is not their fault, I get a sense of wellbeing from being part of a charity that helps people to cope with the chaos that addiction brings.
In the wider community, SFAD provides a “safe place” for people who are coping with addiction in their family, where can talk it through, sometimes venting and sometimes needing to be connected to other services. These other services might be recovery cafes, one-to-one counselling or harm reduction, to name just a few possibilities. We often think only of the addicts because they do take up a lot of space, in our hearts and minds so this charity, specialising in helping the family members affected by this, in my opinion, is crucial for recovery and prevention of further damage.
This is why I support SFAD and will continue to do so for as long as possible.
To find out how to volunteer with SFAD, see www.sfad.org.uk
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