The National:

YOU may think, as Scotland's only daily pro-independence newspaper, we'd be reluctant to publish a poem from a Scotland In Union event.

Equally, you may quickly realise that it's bound to be so bad that it could only be a boost to the Yes movement.

Enter LibDem MSP Alex Cole-Hamilton. He decided to imagine the Bard writing about Nicola Sturgeon for a poem at Scotland In Union's Burns Supper – it's titled The Mither O' The Nation.

We'll skip over any debate about whether Burns would, in fact, be an arch-Unionist, for the sake of getting to the lyrics (though contributions on this subject can be sent to!)

It really is hard to pick out our favourite parts, but we've tried to select a few. We'll leave readers to judge the quality of writing on display – and you can see the full thing in the tweet below.

An early verse reads: "Don't criticise the give-aways/On which her reign depends/A half finished bridge wi long delays/And a box for all new bairns"

This effort at a cutting poem, tearing into the First Minister, takes aim at the Queensferry Crossing and baby boxes ... both have been huge successes.

It was revealed at the end of last year that the Queensferry Crossing had improved reliability, staying open on 20 occasions when the Forth Road Bridge would have been forced to shut. A spending watchdog found it was "well managed" and "value for money".

We're not quite sure how that counts as a give-away, either.

Meanwhile, the Royal College of Midwives called on Theresa May's Government to roll out Scotland's baby box scheme across the UK.

His masterpiece goes on: "A civil war has opened wide/And split apart the ranks/McKaskill, Marwick on wan side/Queen Nic's in need of tanks"

He's, unfortunately, a fair few letters off "MacAskill", but we're assuming that's who he is trying to refer to.

In terms of tanks though, perhaps Cole-Hamilton's fellow Unionist Ruth Davidson could lend the First Minister a few?

And the final verse: "We ony luck it'll end in tears/With Indy shown the door/And a union that's stood 300 years/Will stand 300 more"

At least he's admitting here that he wants an SNP civil war purely as a way to get at independence. That's progress, isn't it? We're not sure that concluding line will age too well, though.

It doesn't seem like poetry is quite the LibDem MSP's forte, unfortunately. That said, we're happy to see him venture into Scots – and would warmly recommend reading some of our columnists writing in that language if he'd like to improve his work further.