In this regular Sunday feature, we ask Scots for 10 things that changed their life ... this week, it's crime writer Alex Gray

1. Starting up Bloody Scotland

The National:

NOW this is a story – and it has been one of my biggest life changers. Lin Anderson, Alanna Knight and I went to Lincoln in 2009 for a Crime Writers’ Association conference, and on the night of the gala dinner Alanna went to chat with friends while Lin and I started our second bottle of prosecco.

During the evening we decided we should have a crime-writing festival in Scotland as we had all these good writers, such as Ian Rankin, Val McDermid and Denise Mina. On the way home the next day the three of us talked about nothing else, but it took two years to set up, with a lot of help from friends and family.

In 2012 we sold less than 4000 tickets – this year we were just short of 10,000. It’s grown in a really good way and people come from all over the world. The two big things we wanted have happened – one was to celebrate the best of crime writing internationally and the other was to give a hand up to new writers. We have succeeded with both.

Willie McIlvanney said it was his favourite festival and when he passed away we renamed the Crime Book of the Year Award after him. It was won by his son Liam this year. We have also been responsible for people starting up other festivals like Bute Noir and Shetland Noir. 

2. Meeting my husband

The National:

I MET Donnie at a friend’s wedding. I did not drive then and the wedding was quite far from where I lived so they arranged a lift for me with him, and that was it. He had already arranged to go out to Zimbabwe for a job as an accountant when I met him, but we wrote to each other every day for nine months.

I went out that May and we got married 10 months after we met – and we have lived happily ever after.

It was a big change in my life as I gave up my career as an English teacher to go out, although I wanted to take the kids up to their exams first.

I went out on May 1, 1976, and took my wedding dress and future mother-in-law with me. She was a widow. My dad was not well enough to travel but my parents had a wedding celebration in their home exactly while we were getting married in Harare Trinity Parish Church.

Ian Smith was still in Rhodesia, as it was called then, and it was amazing to live through a little bit of history. Rhodesia was portrayed as an apartheid state like South Africa but it wasn’t like that. It made me think about the media for a very long time. When the Marxist uprising started we decided to come home. Donnie was offered a job in South Africa but we would never have gone there.

3. Having children

WHEN we came back from Zimbabwe people asked me if I was going to get a job teaching, but I said no as we were going to start a family. They thought I was crazy because we had no money, we were totally in the grubber and had to start all over again. We were actually thinking of going to Canada, but Donnie was offered a job here, so we lived in Armadale in West Lothian for five years then came back to the west after my dad died.

Having children is a huge life changer. I can remember the morning after my son was born and it suddenly dawning on me that I was never going to have a long lie again.

You are never as modest again after childbirth, as once you have exposed yourself to the midwife you think: “Sod it they have seen everything now.”

Neither our son or our daughter slept until they were two, so I experienced zombiehood, not just motherhood.

I was told, however, that sleeplessness means they are highly intelligent! It was not the easiest time when they were little but having them is a huge joy. It is also a huge worry.

No matter what you do and no matter what they do, you are always concerned about them. I don’t think that ever wears off.

Having them changes your life forever. They are in their 40s now but I still think about them all the time.”

4. Getting My First Novel Published

The National:

CANONGATE published Never Somewhere Else in 2002 and that changed my life completely. Just before it was published I was asked to appear on a TV show with Denise Mina and Val McDermid. Kate Mosse was hosting it and invited me on after reading a proof copy of the novel, so I trotted through to Glasgow and met them all.

They were wonderful. Val and Denise are both younger than me but I was like the wee new girl and they so were kind.

It was as if I had entered this new world. It’s a magical world and I love it. My Twitter handle is Alex in Crimeland because I feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland.

However, I was only with Canongate for one book, as the same year they published the Life of Pi which won the Booker, so they decided to go down the road of literary fiction and shed some things like their crime imprint. They assured me I would get another publisher, and I did. I went with Allison and Busby for the next two books.

5. Joining Little Brown

The National:

THERE was a bidding war between Little Brown and Transworld for my fourth book, but the managing director of Allison and Busby, David Shelley, had gone to Little Brown, and because I liked David, I went with them.

He is now chief executive of Hachette, so he has climbed the top of his ladder. He is a wonderful man and signing with them was like finding a home.

I feel very secure with them and I am in good company as Val, Mark Billingham and Robert Galbraith are all with them.

Actually it’s funny, because when we were sent a proof copy of Robert Galbraith’s first book, no-one except David knew it was JK Rowling.

We all wrote glowing reviews that went on the hardback edition of A Cuckoo Calling, but it was only a matter of months before she was unmasked.

In a way it wasn’t a surprise, as I was thinking: “Good grief, if that is a debut writer who is writing this well then I am giving up.”

It was a shame the cat was let out of the bag, though, as she wanted it to be received for its own sake.

Little Brown is like a family. They are just so nice.

When an American publisher bought the US rights for my books they had a wee champagne party for me.

I’ve also got the best agent in the world in Jenny Brown so I am very lucky. I hear other writers moaning about their publishers but I have no complaints.

6. Meeting Lin Anderson

The National:

THIS was funny because I had never had a blind date in my life and this was one with a woman.

A bookseller that knows us both said we should meet each other as we would get on awfully well.

We said okay and he set up a coffee date for us. We met, we sat and we yakked and yakked. It’s very odd as we seem to have done the same things throughout our lives – it is as if we have lived our lives in parallel. She used to live in Africa; I used to live in Africa. She used to be a singer; I used to be a singer. It got to the ridiculous stage when I said I was going to be a gran and she said “oh, so am I!”

Our first grandchildren were born within weeks of each other. It’s just a joy to meet someone like her and have such a close friendship with an author who is writing the same kind of books as I am.

7. Getting ME

I WENT back to teaching once the kids were in primary school but I had to give up in 1992 because I was extremely ill.

I could not stay awake, I was not walking, I could hardly read or speak. It was horrible. I was like a zombie again and slept most of the time – it was as if my whole system had begun to shut down.

The kids were really worried as they thought their mum was dying. It might have been triggered by overwork as I was working through every school holiday and working far too much at night. I was very lucky however as I went to the Rapha Centre in Perthshire where they found I was completely depleted of certain minerals. They gave me what I needed and I was so much better, it was like they had waved a magic wand. While it stopped my teaching career it gave me a new direction, as I started writing short stories, joined a writers’ workshop, then wrote a novel. If one door closes another opens.”

8. Having grandchildren

THE joy of becoming a grandparent is a life-changer as you have all the fun without the sleepless nights.

You still have that same lovely protective feeling but – I know it is a cliché – you can hand them back. It’s not the same responsibility as you have with your children, but you do have a bond that is awfully nice.

I think grandchildren can also be acutely aware of the frailties of older people. It brings out kindness in them.

We have two beautiful grandchildren. Eloise is 11 years old and Blake is nine. They live less than an hour’s drive away from me.

They are very close to their gran and grandpa and we sometimes have holidays together. We are close to our son-in-law’s mum and dad as well so we have a lot of family occasions. Part of the joy of becoming a grandparent is that your family does not shrink when your children get up and leave home – they meet people and bring them back.

9. Knee Surgery

EXACTLY a year ago I felt a pain in my left knee when I was in Toronto at a writers’ conference, and within 24 hours I was in a wheelchair.

The cartilage snapped and it was scrape-me-off-the-ceiling painful. I had surgery over the festive season and a knee replacement in May but it’s taken a long time to heal because I have had shingles and bother with my back.

There have been advantages, as it has given me time to slow down. I resigned from the board of directors for Bloody Scotland, although I am still an honorary member. I also relinquished my post as Scottish convener of the Crime Writers’ Association so it’s been a year of casting off.

10. Having faith

I HAVE been a committed Christian ever since I was 12 years old and it has changed my life completely and forever.

I am a member of the Church of Scotland and without faith I don’t know where I would be. I have had moments where I have felt very close to God and very protected and guided, such as when my dad was dying. It is a feeling of complete and utter peace.

I am not a fundamentalist because I think there is an interpretative way of looking at the Bible. For me evolution is completely compatible with the creation story. As far as I am concerned it is a shorthand way of saying “this is how it all evolved”,== so I don’t find any clash between the two.

Only the Dead Can Tell by Alex Gray comes out in paperback on November 15.