HEARD the joke about the magic tractor? It turned into a field. Groan ... Or the dad who was washing his car with his son, when the boy asked: “Could you not use a sponge?” Ouch...

What did the buffalo say when his son left? “Bye son”. Aaargh!

You may not be surprised to learn that in ascending order, those three jokes were voted the Best Worst Dad’s Jokes’ in a poll carried out by Highland whisky distillery Tomatin.

It’s Father’s Day tomorrow so Tomatin decided to survey the UK and see which of its constituent “parts” – © David Mundell – has the most embarrassing dad traits, as well as find the joke that makes us cringe most.

Results revealed a mere 19 per cent of Scots thought their dads were the funniest members of their family, compared to 20.3 per cent in the rest of the UK.

The poll found that 23.5 per cent of Scots found their dad’s jokes were the most embarrassing trait, compared to 14 per cent of the rest of the UK.

In close second, 15 per cent of Scots thought their dad’s dancing was the most embarrassing trait, compared to 11.9 per cent of the UK.

However, Scottish dads did redeem themselves, as 7.6 per cent of the UK said their dad’s fashion sense was the most embarrassing trait, while only 6.5 per cent of Scots said their dad’s style was a major fashion faux pas.

Jennifer Masson, marketing manager at Tomatin, said: “Most dads are notorious for their fashion sense, dancing and jokes – much to the embarrassment of their children.

“So, we thought in celebration of Father’s Day this weekend, we would ask the Scottish public to find out what they think and what better way to raise a glass to all the dads out there.”

In a video you can see on YouTube, Scottish comedy veteran Fred MacAulay delivers the top five Best Worst dad jokes as voted for by the public. We’ve already given you three – view the rest of the video at your own risk.