BROADCHURCH, STV, 9pm

AHHH, Broadchurch. We had some good times together back in the old days, back when you were just a youngster, flushed with your Series One vigour and energy, but then you aged, as we all must. Come Series Two you were grouchy, tired and repetitive, and we fretted about whether it was time to put you in a home. You argued, of course, insisting you still had your wits and now you’ve gone and created a third series. You must be praying we like it, because we kept those application forms for the care home.

The two detectives, played by Olivia Colman and David Tennant, reunite and are joined by other star names like Lenny Henry, Charlie Higson and Julie Hesmondhalgh, the last of whom plays Trish, a woman who’s been sexually assaulted and has been knocked into a severe, silent shock by the attack.

The police are kind and patient with Trish as she slowly regains awful memories of what happened, and they are fearful a violent rapist is on the loose in the cute seaside town.

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MEET THE LORDS, BBC2, 9pm

BUT why would you want to?

Obviously, no-one would particularly like to “meet the Lords”, those old people, usually undeserving, who nod and drool on the red benches at Westminster, supposedly there to act as a check on the noisy lot next door in the Commons. Hard to act as a check, I’d say, when you’re snoozing nicely after a subsidised lunch, wrapped up cosy in your fancy furs.

But maybe I’m being too cynical. Let’s meet the Lords and find out if they’re actually sharp, thrusting, knowledgeable and dedicated old yins.

In this new three-part series we go behind the scenes at “the best daycare centre for the elderly in London” and see the old, eccentric rituals that you’ll either find quaint or ridiculous.