Is any military vehicle safe from a Ruth Davidson photo opportunity during indyref2? @keithdargie

IT’S no secret that Ruth Davidson loves a photo op. Whether it’s riding a buffalo, shovelling horse manure with George Osborne or recreating Alex Salmond’s iconic Solero moment, Ruth is often seen as an ameliorating force within the Scottish Conservatives. However, it’s hard to find anything redeeming about her posing with a tank.

Such photographs are fine for respected historians and middle-aged heavy metal bands, but politicians just look ridiculous in them. Indeed, I’ve always found the Tory fascination with military vehicles to be somewhat perplexing. In this age of so-called “compassionate Conservatism”, the idea of posturing with artillery trucks seems a little contradictory. It’s a bit like promoting peace by firing a gun.

The prospect of war is not a particularly appealing one, yet Conservatives seem to thrive on reminding us all of Britain’s historic military prowess as if it’s somehow relevant to life in 2017. This is just one example of the Tories being backwards-looking, and out of touch with the modern world I guess Conservatives enjoy spending time with tanks because they don’t answer back, and generally demolish what they’re aimed at. I, however, prefer hanging out with think-tanks, because they offer a variety of opinions and are usually set up to construct, not destroy. Ruth’s photo ops might get her some press, but after her EU lies, the electorate’s only words for her will be “tanks for nothing!”

As a Scot residing in a Tory safe seat in England, what can I do to get the SNP message across? @theweeman7

YOU might think that Scotland’s proximity to England would make the transition to living there an easy one. However, as you will have no doubt discovered, the cultural divide is significant. For example, what we call the “bangin’ heed cure”, they bizarrely refer to as the “full English breakfast”.

These vernacular problems are often compounded by the fact that people can rarely understand what you’re saying. As a Scotsman in England, you often feel like you’re speaking Klingon. Similarly, paying for goods with Scottish bank notes can result in shopkeepers looking at you like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick. Of course, the biggest issue with immigrating to England is that simply mentioning the word “immigration” can result in heavily populated areas descending into absolute chaos for up to 24 hours.

Although, for the sake of side-stepping these dilemmas, you might be tempted to adopt an English accent and dress like a farmer, to do so could lead you toward a sinister, Conservative-run dimension known as Brexit Britain. To avoid this, it is important that you retain your identity as a free-born Scotsman, who enjoys the finer things in life (like pakora) and emphasise the importance of freedom and whisky.

Do not be swayed by invitations to cricket games. While the offer may seem genuine, the sport itself will turn you into a Tank-surfing Tory within a matter of minutes.

The English can be a great people; they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.

Now, I can’t speak on behalf of the SNP, but I have long espoused a philosophy of rock ’n’ roll, kindness and “sexy socialism” as an antidote to Conservative oafishness, selfishness and hatred.

In my mind, the best tactic is simple: be nice. Tories are confused when people are pleasant without asking for something in return. Little by little, you may notice small numbers of them copying your courtesies. These baby steps could eventually lead to them making the giant leap towards progress, equality and peace.

Can the rest of the Union also get a say in the Union breaking up, please? @moonatmidnight

I THINK the rest of the Union has already had its say by consistently voting for a callous Conservative government. The democratic deficit is now so large between Scotland and England, it is seemingly irrecoverable. Our views on the EU, immigration and social care funding are routinely ignored by the Tory Government that England elected. It would not be stretch to imagine that Scotland’s desire for independence would also be dismissed by the rest of the Union should it get a vote on the matter.

The whole point of a referendum on independence is that the nation seeking independence can have its say. Contrast this with the EU referendum, in which Scotland – a member of the EU as part of the UK – failed to be heard, drowned out by English right-wingers and xenophobes.

If Scotland’s voice continues to be ignored by the powers-that-be in Westminster, a second referendum is inevitable, and the idea of giving other nations within the Union the opportunity to meddle in our affairs is ludicrous at best. Although some will be reluctant to accept this, Westminster does not hold a monopoly on sovereignty.

If you think back to the first independence referendum, you may recall that Westminster had a massive say in the outcome, having determined the question and launched the infamous “Better Together” campaign.

While their bluster and bulldink won out last time round, it appears that Scots won’t be fooled twice.