Why can’t the BBC refer to Donald Trump as being half-British instead of half-Scottish? It’s getting embarrassing now. @tara6171

FRANKLY, I’ve had root canals more enjoyable than reading about Donald Trump’s Scottish ancestry. In my opinion, the further this connection to Scotland can be buried, the better. Trump has as much in common with our country as Jeremy Hunt has with Florence Nightingale.

If anything, the vile man is much more in line with modern “Britishness”. Indeed, the UK Prime Minister has seemingly set up a holiday home in his backside. Theresa May’s recent excursion to the White House showed that she is fit to be PM like a cement block is fit to be a lifeguard.

During her trip, she made it clear that the UK will sell its soul for a bigot’s promises of money and trade. Naturally, Scotland wants nothing to do with such villainous practices. This notion that Trump, a destructive, narrow-minded galoot, is representative of Scotland is ridiculous. His Twitter account alone is a towering example of why that’s not the case. Most Scots couldn’t equal his insane tweets without the aid of vodka and a severe blow to the cranium.

One minute he’s publicly saying that he’s not a proponent of overseas interventionism, and the next he’s threatening Iran in 140 characters or fewer. These eruptions of idiocy have become so frequent, I’ve had to come up with a word for them. Tantrump (noun): an uncontrolled outburst of nonsense and bigotry, typically from a Wotsit-faced moron with tiny hands.

One of Donald’s recent tweets told us to “get smart”, which was akin to an obese person telling you to hit the gym. After all, Trump’s so dumb he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test. Of course, the US President would brand such a story as “fake news”, which is ironic as Trump must be one of the most fake human beings alive. Not even his skin tone is real. His head looks like an unkempt hamster eating a Dorito.

If you ask me, this isn’t the post-truth era – this is the post-intelligence era. Lots of stuff to read, but not much in the way of brains to analyse it. The only exception to this appears to be in the youth of the world. People under 50 voted for Scottish independence, remaining in the EU and against Donald Trump’s Presidency. I take this as evidence that the alt-right will die of old age, while progress will not.

Better still, Trump has shied away from his Scottish ancestry in recent times, preferring to put the emphasis on his new “special relationship” with the UK. For example, a bust of Winston Churchill is back in the White House. It’s right next to Theresa May’s spine.

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Refugees are welcome here – unless they’re xenophobic fascists

Will you accept American refugees? (After you secede and stay in the EU, of course) Asking for a friend. @cubanahumana

As America settles in for a long fight against 21st-century Nazism, it’s not surprising that many of its smartest people are looking to escape abroad. Indeed, Donald Trump’s recent use of executive orders likely has the Statue of Liberty swimming back to France.

Thankfully, Scotland has always had an open-door attitude when it comes to immigration. Our current government has made the slogan “Refugees Welcome” a major part of Scottish culture.

Thus, I see no reason why Americans should wait to come to our glorious country. In fact, it would be greatly beneficial if that were to begin now. If your US pal is pro-EU and anti-UK, and they took up residency in Scotland, they’d be able to vote Yes in our next independence referendum and help us achieve the freedom we desire!

Then again, these tolerant views might not be shared by all Americans, and Scotland would certainly be far less convivial regarding Trump-minded nincompoops. After all, freely welcoming members of the alt-right into your country would be like wanting your toilet to do the opposite of flush.

Let’s be clear here, Scotland is an incredibly hospitable and open-minded country – unless you’re a xenophobic fascist.

I mean, Edinburgh literally chased Nigel Farage out of town once. They’d probably fire Donald Trump out of a cannon. I’ve met Glaswegians who would punch neo-Nazis so hard, they’d starve to death rolling. Of course, I would advocate more peaceful means of protest.

For instance, if Nicola Sturgeon is ever forced to make diplomatic visits to the White House, I pray that she rocks up in a sombrero, singing Mexican folk songs.

Got a question for Angry? Send it to letters@thenational.scot