“SEE when ah wake up in the morning and ah’m no touching the sides of a coffin? It’s a good morning!”

This charming documentary follows the dapper pensioners of Govan’s Fairfield Working Men’s Club as they recapture, or retain, their vigour and youth by dancing under the glitterball on a drizzly Glasgow afternoon.

But these weekly dance sessions aren’t about shuffling a few dainty steps and then sitting down for some Rich Tea biscuits. Cool old geezers with killer sideburns assure us that the ladies – who’re busy in the dressing room smoothing their jewel-covered satin blouses and touching up their hair – are “very desirable – and most of them know it!” He’s not here for the biscuits.

The dancing pensioners are aware of mortality but, for one afternoon a week, death can get lost! Are you dancing?


NATALIE Cassidy is the star of the show again this week.

Morgana Robinson obviously knows she’s her best impression and she’s not afraid to milk it.

Tonight, Natalie’s agent rings her with some fantastic news: Morgan Freeman is auditioning female actresses for a role in his new film and she’s been invited to attend. The role is perfect for her: she’s to play a cockney astronaut. But she can’t find anyone to look after her grumpy old dad (he’s actually my favourite character in tonight’s show) so she’ll have to take him with her to meet Morgan Freeman, but he’s stuffed in his armchair, refusing to “go up London”.

We also see Cheryl Cole who’s through with worthless men and is trying to find a new soulmate with various pets, but neither the cute wee dog nor the tortoise can seem to understand her emotional needs.