The National:

FOR most people the results of DNA heritage tests elicit no strong emotions.

Finding out the often far-flung genealogical roots of our ancestry tends to result in nothing more than a mildly interesting discussion over the family dinner table.

But every so often an ancestral purist is horrified to learn that their blood does not correlate with their fiercely nativist politics.

They discover to their horror that they are, in fact, Scottish.

In his latest column for The Spectator, journalist Rod Liddle described feeling “utterly devastated” at the results of his DNA test, which showed that he is more than three quarters Scottish.

His hope that he was “90 per cent English with the remaining 10 per cent Danish” were apparently dashed over the festive period.

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“I got my wish for some Danish and/or Swedish lineage – about 3 per cent, it said,” he said.

“And there was some English in me too – 20 per cent. The rest, more than three-quarters, was… Scottish.

“I am almost entirely Scottish.

“The family howled with mirth while I sat there, checking and re-checking that I hadn’t typed in the wrong name or something, utterly devastated.”

One might think that such a discovery may have sparked curiosity about his lineage or a desire to unearth and connect with lost Scottish relatives.

Unfortunately, for Liddle this fascinating insight into human history was nothing more than an opportunity to engage in a little self-hatred. After all, he is a Scot now.

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“Imagine how this feels!” he pleaded.

“One moment you are comfortable with the notion of yourself as a decent, solid, industrious Englishman – and then it is revealed that you are, instead, a chippy, grasping, salad-dodging smackhead who is unable to define the term ‘woman’.

“The only consolation is that henceforth I shall expect everybody else in England to subsidise me through their taxes, while simultaneously demanding total independence from them.”

The Jouker feels that it may be Scots who need consolation in the wake of this revelation.