WHEN divers pulled 12 Thai boys stuck in a cave to safety last week, the whole world seemed to cheer. It was a properly international rescue, set against the ticking timebomb of monsoon rains and depleted oxygen supplies, like something out of a disaster movie but with real stakes. In the end, the plan worked, and human heroism prevailed, to the joy and relief of almost everyone.

Almost everyone. Because, while billions cheered, billionaire futurist entrepreneur Elon Musk threw Twitter bombs at the rescuers.

Musk had tried to muscle in on the Thai crisis in his own, hi-tech fashion, supplying a state-of-the-art mini-submarine that would supposedly save the day. The trouble was, the sub, though expensive and flashy, was not well suited to the twisty environment of a cave. “Even though their equipment is technologically sophisticated, it doesn’t fit with our mission to go in the cave,” said the Thai mission leader.

Musk first belittled the expertise of the Thai leaders on the ground. Then, in response to criticisms from a British cave diver who played a genuinely heroic role in the rescue, Musk got properly dark. “Sorry pedo guy, you really did ask for it.” Twitter users were predictably shocked at the shabbiness of this sentiment: “He’s calling the guy who found the children a pedo – real classy.” But Musk was unmoved. “Bet ya a signed dollar it’s true”.

Like most readers of this newspaper, I spent last weekend protesting a billionaire jerk who revels in his reputation as the destroyer of civilised values. These were great events, and I was proud that Scotland, despite our footballing failings, is now globally famous as an inhospitable destination for a disgraceful American president.

But there are other billionaire jerks who revel in their self-pronounced role as saviours of civilisation. And they can be just as dangerous.

Trump is someone who rips up the scientific consensus on climate change. Musk, by contrast, will makes nauseatingly pompous Twitter pronouncements about its importance. “Thank you for fighting climate change,” he announced last weekend. “This affects every living creature on Earth.” His Tesla electric cars, in the green neoliberal narrative, are prime examples of how big finance can save the planet by means of the market.

However, in the unlikely event that Plan A fails, and capitalism does vaporise the planet to dust, Musk will still emerge as humanity’s saviour, because he’s got the ultimate Plan B – colonise other planets. And forget the hoary old idea of a publicly funded space programme. Humanity’s saviours will be space pirates, billionaire privateers seeking great fortunes in distant worlds, taking a lucky few survivors with them.

Musk, then, presents himself as the redeemer of a capitalism scarred by Trump. Indeed, he likes to think of himself as a socialist, but “not the kind that shifts resources from most productive to least productive, pretending to do good, while actually causing harm”. A socialist, then, after the fashion of the Clinton dynasty, which is to say, a capitalist: “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” and, by his own admission, “nauseatingly pro-American”.

Because we live in a fundamentally distorted political universe, Musk appears as Donald Trump’s nemesis, the billionaire who loves sexual freedom, cares about the planet and dreams of a borderless world (or worlds, assuming his space colonisation programme comes off).

But his arrogance equals that of Trump. Trying telling him that his half-baked techno schemes are more a hindrance than a help, and he’ll brand you a paedo so his millions of sci-fi fanboys can snicker at you. It’s as if to say, I’ve got more money and more followers than you rescuers will ever have – so you don’t count.

And there’s a more fundamental danger. Musk can present himself as the saviour of the world because he’s got billions at his disposal. But it all depends on the dictatorship of one man over these resources. Climate change is a real problem, but it needs democratic solutions, or we’ll continue to have this cleavage between an elite of “liberal” globalising techno wizards and the millions of displaced people who are simply here to provide cheap service labour to their overlords. That’s Musk’s vision: that’s why he supports the universal basic income, because he sees most of us as largely superfluous as his robots take over.

Panicked by Trump (and Putin, and other oligarch nationalists), many are tempted to lionise the philanthropic globalisers among the billionaire class. Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and, yes, George Soros emerge as the unlikely heroes of the Left. Strategically, this means, forget redistributing income, forget working conditions, and double down on social liberalism, ethical consumerism and philanthropic enterprises. The bad billionaires are out to destroy humanity; let’s have the good billionaires step up and save us.

As I recovered from protesting against Trump, the Musk “pedo” case was a sharp reminder that these guys are jerks and bullies too. Power corrupts; billions of dollars corrupt absolutely. The Left has to find a better way of restoring its legitimacy than going crying to the nice sugar daddies. Otherwise, humanity really is doomed, and I’m taking the first SpaceX flight out of here.