I’M Irish and I’m confused. Just what the feck are the Brits doing? As far as I can tell, their eejit Prime Minister appears to be putting plans in place for Irish reunification. This, needless to say, has come as somewhat of a shock. I mean, whether or not the plans are intentional is beside the point – it’s the end result that matters. By the look of it, we’ll be a happy, unified island again before the decade is out.

This whole Brexit thing is going about as smoothly and pleasantly as a porcupine out your backside. Are those hopeless langers in the British Government not aware that they’re making the cases for Scottish independence and Irish reunification seem even more logical than they already are?

Certainly, it’s hard to see Unionists coming out on top here, especially when half of them are a group of flat-Earth maggots and the other lot are lying tick Tories. They’re acting like a bunch of poxes. Surely it must be obvious to the majority of people now that letting the Scots and Irish go their own way is the best option for everybody? England’s a strange place that should be allowed to do strange things like Brexit without upsetting the rest of us. If anything, I can only express my sadness that years of violence on my native landmass could have been avoided if we’d just let the Brits have a daft vote on EU membership and let a wagon called May handle the negotiations.


County Clare

THE Brexit negotiations are unquestionably depicting British politics at its most dismal and hopeless. It certainly doesn’t help that the Tories – a party who would sooner save a flag from a fire than a homeless person – have all the tactical nous of a drunk man trying to find his way home, not realising he isn’t even in the correct city. As the situation currently stands, the plans of the UK Prime Minister have been scuppered by a handful of creationist morons in the DUP, which speaks volumes about the intellectual level of Unionist governments right now. Brexit – the result of British nationalism – now appears to have hit gridlock due to the idiocy of British nationalists.

Of course, this is doubly insulting when you consider that the Tories have long claimed to be the party of strength and stability. Far from stable, the UK presently resembles a house of cards in the middle of an earthquake. The Conservatives might holler about being the party of fiscal responsibility, but their leader can’t even speak without devaluing the pound. Worse yet, these are the same Tories who said that Scottish independence would be an unmanageable mess. As the saying goes, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but the Conservatives have opted to toss boulders around their crystal living room without a second of self-reflection.

Consequently, with Brexit Britain looking like a giraffe in quicksand, it’s totally understandable that Scots, and those living in Northern Ireland, are considering their options. What comes as a surprise is that nobody at Westminster appears to be taking note of this. Indeed, the recurring issue here is that the Tories have a severe listening problem. It’s not a case of a collective loss of hearing; it’s selective deafness at its very worst. Tories only hear what they want to hear, and have a worrying tendency to repeat themselves even when they’re speaking utter nonsense.

It’s very hard to see how this Westminster strategy of wilful ignorance will end well for Unionists given that support for an independent Scotland is once again on the rise. If anything, the Tories are beefing up the argument for Scottish self-determination each day with three-course meals of Conservative incompetence.

We are being told to eat excrement and like it, and the Tories don’t even have the courtesy to sugar-coat it. If you ask me, it’s fitting that both Irish reunification and freedom for Scotland will be the result of boneheaded arrogance from Westminster. The UK has been given umpteen chances to demonstrate how it benefits the regions furthest from London, and it has been unsuccessful in doing so.

Theresa May and her rabble of slabbering lemmings have become so lost in their attempts to make Brexit a success that they have guaranteed failure for any future Unionist campaigns across the UK. What started as a democratic deficit has grown into a mountain of unwarranted and unfeasible governmental plans, crafted by Tories for the benefit of Tories.

This Conservative government is on its last legs, and with a well-timed push for indyref2 I think Scotland should comfortably be able to acquire its independence by 2020. I imagine Irish reunification won’t be far behind.