I’M wondering what it takes to get a Tory minister sacked or even to resign in 2018?

Since the cull before Christmas, when Damian Green left with his tail between his legs after dodgy downloads on his computer, preceded by a red-faced Michael Fallon and then Priti Patel’s holiday misdemeanours, the UK Government has been hanging on to several ministers by the skin of their teeth, not to mention the precarious position the PM finds herself in on a day-to-day basis.

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At the time of writing this column, it looks like no heads will roll over the unacceptable and heart-breaking Windrush scandal. We are in the bizarre situation where Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, and her predecessor Theresa May, have been offering their sincerest apologies for their own callous policy-making.

They’ve had plenty of time to right the wrongs of an inherently racist immigration system and yet it takes reports in the media to force their hand. In days gone by, I’m sure someone at the heart of decision making would have done the right thing and taken a hit for what has got to be one of the cruellest Tory policies ever created. And I’m saying that within the context of a crowded field of cruelty such as the rape clause, cold, calculated austerity measures, soaring foodbank usage, the tax credit fiasco, PIP disability assessments, Universal Credit, pension inequality and the WASPI women – this is a long litany of inhumanity. Yet, no one seems to be prepared to take ownership, behave honourably and resign.

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Meanwhile, the rest of the cabinet isn’t exactly covering themselves in glory in their respective departments. Boris Johnson, with his foot permanently in his mouth has managed to offend just about everybody who is anybody in the international arena; Liam Fox has fluffed his own brief by failing to come up with any significant trade deals post-Brexit; and even David Davis managed to bungle this week by not informing constituency MPs in Northern Ireland when he finally deigned to visit the Irish border, almost incognito with no news reporters there to document the event. As for Esther McVey, words fail me on her lack of human understanding over the insensitivity of her remarks on the “benefits” for rape victims when discussing the origins of the birth of their third child at an assessment meeting.

For all the nostalgia of the Brexiteers who call the shots in the cabinet, claims of a return to traditional British values look wide of the mark. There’s no decency or tolerance about Windrush, there’s no fair play or good sportsmanship about jeopardising peace in Ireland and there’s certainly no respect for democracy when the government at Westminster is willing to take the Scottish and Welsh devolved parliaments to the Supreme Court in order to pursue their own aims. The UK looks like a pastiche of an Enid Blyton book, all home-cured righteousness on the outside with lashings of prejudice and racism on the inside.

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It’s not much better at Conservative HQ in Scotland where the rather unpopular Ross Thomson MP nearly caused an international incident with his disrespectful antics on a recent trip to Iraq. Pictured grinning on Saddam Hussein’s throne and messing about at the Victory Arch, the Tory MP for Aberdeen South boasted of finding his inner dictator. It was all too much for the Aberdonian mother of a soldier killed in the Iraqi conflict, who called for his resignation over his “disgusting” behaviour and rightly so.

Why is Ruth Davidson staying so quiet on this squalid affair? It must be hard for her to watch one of her least loyal new MPs trivialise and belittle the Forces, a cause to which she is so personally attached. Those tank photo ops in army fatigues will seem very out of place when a member of your own party fails to respect the sacrifices made by men and women far younger and with much more to lose than he does.

But then, the Scottish Tory Leader’s squad haven’t exactly courted respect since they appeared on the scene almost a year ago – missing the deadline to make amendments in the EU Withdrawal Bill and jeopardising devolution, rebelling against their Scottish Leader on a hard Brexit, disappearing to referee football matches instead of representing constituents in parliament, not to mention unsavoury racist bigotry further down the elected food chain. Ruth Davidson can’t stay holed up at party headquarters forever, failing to take control over these less than savoury characters. At some point, she is going to have to face the music and explain why, no matter how much she’s tried to rebrand her party as nice, or pretend they have nothing to do with their colleagues down south, they always return to the dark side.

Still, we’re only four months into 2018 and there’s a lot left to play for. The House of Lords has started to savage the EU Withdrawal Bill and rumours are circulating that Theresa May is about to do a U-turn on staying in the Customs Union. Get set for a raft of resignations should this be so – the Brexiteers will want the PM’s head on a platter if this is the case, but it might be her that gets the last laugh if Fox or Johnson make their resignation move first. Get ready to watch May’s house of cards come tumbling down.