BLUE PLANET II, BBC1, 8pm
HALF of the planet’s surface is ocean? Even the opening sentence astonishes me.

This vast watery expanse is the “marine equivalent of a desert”. It is “patrolled” by massive pods of spinner dolphins, which sound like styrofoam being squeezed and twisted. And when some wee lanternfish dare to approach the pod it creates a feeding “bonanza!” Forget the idea that dolphins are gentle and sympathetic creatures. Here they go nuts, and then some tuna and rays jump into the fray. Lending “hauners” to the wee fish? No. Piling in to fill their boots.

Soon, with the hungry tuna racing at 40 miles an hour, “the sea begins to boil” and the fishy massacre ends with the waters reduced to a silent “confetti of scales”.

Wow! You’ll be exhausted after the first few minutes. This is spectacular TV. And after all that chaos, you can relax with the cute sight of baby turtles clinging on to driftwood and using it as a raft. Bless them.

GUY MARTIN’S WW1 TANK, C4, 8pm
WHEN I was wee, I was always bored by Remembrance Sunday. The cartoons were removed from the TV and replaced with sombre people in black, and we were all expected to be silent for a whole minute. For a nipper, this was too much to ask, and probably set the idea in my head that such things were dull. I obviously appreciate what the ceremonies are for now, but this programme shows there are other ways to remember the First World War, and that remembrance needn’t be silent.

Guy Martin pays tribute to the Mark IV tank, and the people who built and operated it. We’ve seen him muck about with cars and motorbikes before, but a massive tank designed a century ago is a different challenge.

Martin has a working replica of the famous tank and aims to get it into shape so he can drive it to a remembrance parade. He also tells us something about the fascinating history of the tanks’ role in the war, and the tough women who built them.