THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE, BBC1, 9pm
I WAS taught sewing at school, but it wasn’t anything practical. We were handed a blank square of linen and asked to embroider it with something which interested us. I cut out some figures in orange felt and stitched them onto the fabric, making a messy collage of the Pet Shop Boys’ Can You Forgive Her? video. (I sent it to the fan club in hopeful adoration, but they never replied…)
If that’s the type of “sewing” being taught in school – if, indeed, it’s still taught at all – then it’s no wonder we all flock to Primark for cheap socks and shirts as we hardly know how to darn a hole or sew on a button.
This new series will shame us all by showing eager amateurs who can make wonderful creations – with not a crooked Pet Shop Boy in sight. The Great British Bake Off triggers an annual frenzy of baking, but this show doesn’t quite do the same for sewing, and it won’t while sweatshops and cheap togs exist. Nonetheless, seeing amateurs at work is always heartening and tonight they have to cleverly adapt a maternity dress in 90 minutes.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT PUPPY FOR YOU, BBC2, 8pm
IT’S a shame this series is only two episodes long as it is performing a great public service. Despite the cute title, it’s not about families going goo-goo over cute pups. Instead, it answers serious and practical questions that everyone should consider before buying a dog.
Kate Humble, although cheery and pleasant, manages to convey the impression that if people would just bloody well listen to her then we wouldn’t see so many puppies dumped at dog homes or, worse, abandoned in bins, rivers and street corners.
This week, the show focuses on the trouble a new dog might bring you. Humble tells us which breeds are the most likely to bark – the answer being the tiny Lhasa Apso, whose “bark diary” showed 112 yaps in one week, at a decibel level of 110 – louder than a nightclub.
We also learn which breed is most likely to destroy your possessions, and which are the easiest to train.
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