COMEDIAN Jen Brister is a mum, the “other” mum. One half of a lesbian couple, she’s the non-biological parent of three-year-old twins.

It is a description that sounds a bit like washing powder and, at times, made her feel like an imposter, even though she shares their care with her partner.

Her experience forms the basis of her new show, Meaningless, which she is bringing to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and which is about trying your best, not always getting it right and hoping beyond hope that whatever you do, it isn’t all just “meaningless”.

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It should resonate with all parents as she can’t be alone in initially feeling overwhelmed at the responsibility and is probably not the first to google “will my babies love me?” in the small hours of the morning.

She also questions how the other mother is supposed to bring up two boys in a post-#MeToo world with no dad – and if she is up to the job when she is so sleep deprived her greatest fantasy is being Lenny Henry in that Premier Inn ad.

IS MUM THE WORD THEN?
HOWEVER although she at first thought the show would be about how her life had changed since the boys were born, the subject matter has since expanded.

“It’s became more about the way we bring up our children, how mothers are with their daughters and how they are with their sons and how that plays out in society,” said Brister. “I talk about how we treat girls and boys differently and take in subjects like the Me Too movement.”

Brister, who says she is perimenopausal, also talks about what women do and don’t discuss as a result of living in a patriarchal society.

“Women are told they become invisible in their 40s and they distract themselves by the things that don’t matter – for example instead of talking about the gender pay gap we talk about how our thighs rub together.

“Forget the thigh gap and look at getting a bigger piece of pie and campaigning for more research into the menopause! I am perimenopausal and at first I didn’t know anything about it but if men went through this then we would know all about it. Every single women in the entire world experiences it so what is going on?”

WHAT ELSE DOES SHE QUESTION?
A CRITICALLY acclaimed stand-up comedian, writer and actor, Brister says men and women in comedy are treated differently both on stage and off it.

“Journalists always ask questions like ‘do you think women can be funny’. Clearly I do, I’m a comedian.

“Or you get people coming up to you after shows and saying they don’t normally find women funny but they thought I was good. They would never say something like that to a man.

“There is also this myth that women only talk about periods on stage so when I started thought I had better not mention periods. Then I thought ‘what the hell, why should we not talk about it’. It’s my body and if you don’t like it don’t listen. If men had periods every joke would be about it so why as women have we censored ourselves?

“We judge women harder as primary care givers too. We see men outside with their kids and think ‘how lovely’ but why? It’s what they should be doing.”

AND THE NEW SHOW?
BRISTER says Meaningless is different from her previous ones and reckons it is the best of the lot, something she puts down to being a mum.

“Since the boys were born I’ve had a different focus and that has been very freeing. I think it has improved my performances even though a lot of time I’m shattered and working on the last tenth of my energy.

“But I’ve stopped thinking about what I should be writing and saying and writing what I want to write. I’m not questioning myself any more, I’m not second guessing my instincts, I’m just going for it.

“It’s been really revelatory and I’ve never felt more creative. When your focus changes like that there is a shift and it seems to open up something creatively in you because you are not strangling it.

“I also think I have achieved something if I can get anything done. I find it hilarious that you get these women who have managed to row across the Atlantic after having children – all I’ve managed is to put the recycling out. And then I’m done.”

HOW DOES SHE MANAGE?
LIFE is a bit easier now the babies are older but when they were born Brister admits it was really tough. Her partner went back to work quickly and she was the one who took them to mother and toddler groups but she says she started to avoid the other mothers in case there were awkward questions about what it was like giving birth to twins.

“I would think that if they knew I hadn’t given birth then they would think I was an imposter although no-one ever hinted at that – it was more me imposing that on myself.”

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When they were born she searched in vain for a book reflecting her experience as a lesbian “other mother” but when she couldn’t find one she started writing a blog which not only proved cathartic but also secured her a book deal.

As well as reflecting her experience, it will also feature other non-traditional families so that it is more true to modern society.

“There is still too much emphasis on the traditional idea of a family but really if you have one parent looking out for you, you are doing well. If you have two it’s a goldmine. Lots of people have two totally dysfunctional parents so we need to be more inclusive and less judgemental.”

ANY TIPS FOR RUTH?
IT’S a book she could present to pregnant Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson who is breaking the Tory mould by having a baby with her female partner.

Brister’s advice to both of them is to take time at the beginning to really invest in their family unit.

“Don’t have lots of visitors and people coming over, then piss off back to work. Get the unit cemented then you are ahead. If you don’t have that time to cement the relationship then I think there will be huge problems later.

“Two weeks at the beginning is not long enough.”

As well as her own show, Brister will be supporting Frankie Boyle at his show in the Playhouse.

“I’ve done a lot of work with Frankie – he’s ridiculously supportive. I’ve never worked with anyone that has his work ethic. He is meticulous and very intelligent. People have lots of opinions about him and some of them I can understand but there is not really a comedian out there with his moral compass – and his new show is fantastic.”

Meaningless is at The Monkey Barrel in Edinburgh from August 2-26