WHEN nane ither than Muriel Gray tweetit that the Scots language I write in this hummle dottled much-malkied newspaper column wis ‘P-I-S-H’, I taen it as a badge o honour.

I’ve aye liked her style. Muriel never hauds back and caws a shool a shovel and me a ‘dumbed doon’ chibber o the auld Scots tongue.

I whiles write this column in meh ain dialect Dundonian or as Muriel caws it a muckle big dub o weewee. Eh’ve heard wurse.

It seems Muriel’s view o Scots is that it maun be sonsie and lyrical and hing there diaphanously somewhar in the past beamin oot guid haillsome Scottishness. And sae she pit the Hi Tecs intae ma coorse contemporary unwaashed Scots prose.

But I’m no gonnae get aw bampotted up and snash and snotter back across the crabbitsphere that is the social meeja. It widnae be poleet. And onywey, I like her.

When she wis Rector o Edinburgh University, she boosted some poash pieces oot o a reception buffet for me and ma mate which we werenae even meant tae be at. Sae fair play tae Muriel. I wish her aw the best. Mibbe we can lea it at that.

But Muriel’s ‘pish tweet’ got me thinkin aboot why I write in Scots in the first place and whit this column’s got tae dae wi the price o sliced breid.

When I wis but a bairn I noticed Scottish folk didnae write the wey they spoke. They wid say hoose and write house. They said lug and wrote ear. I thocht that wis funny.

And when I got leathered and telt aff for speakin in Scots, the adults daein the leatherin and the tellin aff were usually speakin in Scots themsels. I didnae think that wis fair, or honest.

Then they made me read Burns and suddenly it made sense. Here wis a Scottish person that wrote in Scots and folk didnae go mental at him. They shawed him respect. Mair than that, they loved him.

Somewey atween ‘Tam o Shanter’, Douglas’ ‘Aeneid’, Connolly’s ‘Last Supper’ and gettin the belt for sayin ‘Aye’, I foond, by writin doon the Scots I spoke and heard ithers speakin, a creative voice that wis richt for me.

The English I wis learnin at the schule wis fine but it didnae mak me want tae write poetry and stories in it. It wis the Scots that clicked, the language that wis in the air roon aboot me and ivry noo and then in a poem or a book.

And sae I’ve aye written in Scots. And I’ve aye been flyted for it. A Scottish publisher wance suggestit insteid o writin in Scots, I’d be better aff takkin up knittin. Anither time, a parent got in touch tae let me ken the schule had gien his wean a gift o ane o ma books and, because he didnae want his child talkin like the weans fae the local scheme, wis writin tae inform me he’d immediately pit ma book in the bin.

But ithers hae read ma wark, enjoyed it, said sae and that’s eneuch for ony writer.

Takkin on the first column in Scots for The National seemed like a guid idea at the time. I kent if I did it richt folk wid mibbe even read it. I kent tae wioot scrievin a word o it, there’d be people that widnae like it.

Ma paw merks are aw ower maist o thir weekly blauds in Scots but ither writers like Anne Donovan, Janet Paisley, Iain Forde and Hamish MacDonald, the current Scots Scriever, hae been pairt o the series and aw. Contrar tae whit some folk bauldly assert, we’re no makkin this language up. It’s no there tae mak fun o onybody. We’re no writin in a dialect, version or bastardised form o English but a sister language o it wi its ain lang history and literary pedigree. It’s no slang, it’s no juist an accent. It’s no ony the usual daft names folk come oot wi tae miscaw the daily language o 1.6 million Scottish citizens.

But some o the reaction tae this column has taen the negativity tae Scots tae a haill new level o glaikit.

I described faimlies gettin bombed oot their hames in Syria and some folk were mair upset I’d daured use Scots tae write aboot somethin international. I wrote aboot ma faither’s daith and some folk couldnae see past ma Scots spellin.

There’s even a chiel translates whit I write in Scots intae English. It minds o a primary schule teacher that used tae say ivry word I said in Scots back tae me in English and gie it, ‘We’ll not have any of your guttersnipe language here, boy.’

There’s a lee gaun aboot that the Scots writin in this newspaper is a nationalist ploy. Thing is Scots isnae aboot unionism or nationalism. Yes voters are as likely tae blaw their tap at Scots as Naw voters. And there’s as mony unionists speak and support the Scots language as nationalists.

We need tae be mair honest. It’s aboot class. Onybody that thinks the Scottish middle classes in general dinnae hae a problem wi the wey the Scottish workin class speak doesnae ken Scotland.

The lood articulate flytin o Scots is born o twinty generations haein it battered intae them that the proper language o Scotland is English.

Scots in a newspaper, a book or on TV threatens that. It’s why the folk that tak it upon themsels tae polis language in Scotland try tae hirple ony confident use o Scots and keep the language in the ghettoes o comedy and sentimentality they made tae thirl it in.

This fact that this column exists shaws that no awbody accepts that view. The writers, readers and publisher o this column demonstrate there are folk that arenae ashamed o oor unique Scots language. And it says loodly and articulately we arenae feart tae be oorsels.