PERHAPS it’s only when you consider leaving a place that you begin, belatedly, to notice its attributes. In those crazy, crazy months leading up to the first independence referendum, waves of English journalists and an assortment of C-list television types began to lift their gaze momentarily from the palaces of Westminster to behold Scotland. Thus, we were treated to one of the most bizarre spectacles of the entire campaign as these Uriah Heeps all tried to out-toady each other in telling us (those of us gullible enough to believe their horse manure anyway) that they all simply adored Scotland and would be broken-hearted if we left the Union. Those of my English friends who genuinely do like Scotland remained silent. Their authentic respect for Scotland did not permit them to participate in this condescending mince.

It was at this point that I decided to travel down through the spine of England to remind myself of the reasons why I’d always admired this country and its people and to be sure of my own reasons nonetheless for seeking to part from them. It was a rewarding and worthwhile journey and one that I hope to repeat before the second referendum. As ever, the people I met were warm, friendly, good-humoured and hospitable; possessing many of those attributes us Scots like to believe we also own. English people are a lot like us but without our (cough) sunny disposition and optimistic outlook.

They also produce Test Match Special, which BBC Radio Four broadcasts whenever the English national cricket team are going in to bat for blighty.

To describe Test Match Special as a cricket programme is a bit like calling Bradley Wiggins a cyclist. To listen to it is to know the essence of England and its people: their humour; their gentle prejudices; their rheumy longings and the way they prize stoicism and forbearance in the face of peril above all other human qualities. It’s a jewel and you don’t need to know anything about cricket to appreciate it. If independence meant being deprived of it I’d need to think seriously about the implications.

Earlier this week I was reminded once more why the heart and soul of this country rests in Radio Five when the nation’s cricketers are crying God for Harry, England and St George. Jonathan Agnew, a broadcaster of effortless eloquence and one who always commentates with a twinkle in his voice, read a letter from a listener whose father had died the previous week at the age of 83, having endured, it seemed, all four plagues of an old-age apocalypse with traditional English fortitude.

At the end, the old fellow, who had lately been beset by dementia, rallied and thus was able to listen to Test Match Special one last time with his family gathered around him before drawing his last breath. It was the broadcasting highlight of the year thus far and offered a reminder that England and its people at their best are very good indeed.

When the second referendum comes around again I’ll vote Yes once more and toast England while I do so. I’ll relish the thought of having a proper, grown-up relationship with our great southern neighbours and not one based on distrust, resentment and mutual recrimination. I’m not saying that this will happen any time soon but it will happen and when it does it’ll be worth the wait.

Why the FM needs to appear on Test Match Special Special

I THINK Nicola Sturgeon touched on something interesting on Monday while she was interviewing the great Scottish novelist Ali Smith. The two were discussing how art could be a “unifying force”, according to Smith, in the face of division. The First Minister admitted that politicians can be the cause of division in society. “We put forward strong views on policies; we’re sometimes the cause or a cause of the division.”

There is a difference though between unnecessary division and aggravation and that which happens naturally when two people have divergent but sincerely held and respectfully articulated views on the same subject. 

The National:

Unionist commentators and some leaders of the Better Together campaign know this too but dishonestly insist on portraying the merest mention of Scottish independence as unnecessarily divisive.

Bearing this in mind, towards the end of the second referendum I’d like to propose that we recall our fondest memories of England and write them down. Then, as a rebuke to that sickening and insincere love-bombing to which we were subjected in 2014, we should organise a massive march right up to the Border and tell England it’s nothing personal and that we’ll be seeing them again soon and contributing to their seaside and rural economy once more.

Perhaps a few of our own C-listers and academics could co-author a letter to The Times and The Telegraph to the same effect. It would list the reasons why we all love England and why we felt trapped in the relationship but want to restore it to an equal footing. Perhaps too, Jonathan Agnew could invite Nicola Sturgeon on to Test Match Special and her husband Peter could bake the obligatory cake for the First Minister to take with her. We could make the next referendum a most civilised affair.

Scottish fitba still stuck in the Stone Age

SCOTLAND’S last remaining representatives in the Champions League, Celtic finally succumbed last week to defeat in the third of four qualifying rounds. The Parkhead club and their Glasgow rivals Rangers must play above themselves if either or both are to remain in European competition beyond Christmas, even in the slightly more down-at-heel Europa League.

Next month the Scottish international team begins its attempt to reach a first major competition for the first time in 22 years. The path to the European Championships has become progressively easier yet Scotland always seem to find new ways of cocking it all up.

Recent developments in the domestic game suggest we are currently in the midst of doing so again. Our top professional league, the SPFL Premiership, is the elite standard in Scotland. Yet this season the people who run the game here have permitted three clubs to use the cheapest versions of artificial turf, a surface which mitigates against proper football.

The National:

Last season the manager of another of our elite clubs, Heart of Midlothian, unashamedly kept the Tynecastle grass long in attempting to stifle the creativity of Celtic. Earlier this month the Rangers striker Alfredo Morelos was inexplicably cleared of a red card for deliberately aiming a dangerous kick at an opponent.

Scottish football marches to a different tune than much more sophisticated and elegant nations who possess none of our history and resources but plenty of intelligence. In this country we actively encourage a Stone Age version of the game and yet become agitated when our clubs and national team fail at every level in international competition.