COMRADES, as you know, I’m never wrong; I simply reposition the location of correctness! By contrast, the Labour Party are distinguished experts on slip-ups, gaffes and botches, and the calamity train shows no sign of slowing down. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s weak-willed concession of the renewal of Trident without a debate at this week’s party conference is a New Coke-like fall from grace for a party that looked like it might finally be winging its way out of political purgatory.

It was only a matter of months ago that Labour was decimated in the General Election, and it doesn’t take Quincy or Jessica Fletcher to figure out who the bumbling Blairite fudricks that killed Labour were. Jeremy Corbyn was touted as the anti-Blair; the glorious antidote to nearly two decades of warmongering and insincerity.

But now, barely a month into the job, Corbyn is beginning to sound like a true Westminster politician: poorly versed on matters that don’t directly concern England and quick to slack on the promises that got him elected in the first place.

When it comes down to it, Corbyn – like so many other Westminster politicians – simply doesn’t know that much about Scotland. Generally speaking, it is somewhat desirable that figures of authority have some basic degree of understanding of the territories they govern or intend to govern. Far from being a political issue, this is much more a matter of common sense. In recent years, we’ve come to expect only nonsense from the Labour Party, and Corbyn is yet to demonstrate which side he is on.

He might have the demeanour of a stressed-out history teacher, but Corbyn’s knowledge of Scotland’s recent political past is far from imposing. His clumsy association of the SNP with the privatisation of Calmac and ScotRail on a recent edition of the Marr Show revealed just how little he knows about our beloved Jockistan. In truth, the tendering process had already been in place before the SNP took power – they had no hand in its privatisation. Baseless claims like these are not conducive to a healthy working relationship with the Progressive Alliance. It’s one thing to jump upon the #SNPBad bandwagon, but quite another to do so with erroneous statements.

Sadly, this is also true of Corbyn’s campaign style. To have ridden a wave of anti-Trident support only to drown in a sea of union pressure at the first sign of a political storm is far from the governmental revolution we were promised. Yes, the Labour Party is more akin to a set of warring factions than any sort of united force, but, ultimately, it’s Corbyn’s job to be the uniting force. The public elected him precisely because he said he would do what his opponents would not. If there are rotten, Trident-supporting eggs in his allotment, then they should be weeded out. It’s really that simple.

The “kinder politics” that Corbyn desires should not involve the renewal of weapons that can eradicate millions of innocent lives, nor should it involve misinformed attacks on the Scottish Government. This week, Labour quite arrogantly asked voters to “come home” to them, but if their home is a house built on broken promises, backbiting and betrayal, why would anyone go home to that? The people of Scotland will only listen to Labour if the party are to produce some evidence that they are listening to the people of Scotland. Corbyn can still be the antithesis to disingenuous politics in Britain, but in order to do this, he needs to be the man the people elected him to be. Wearing the pink beret and sunglasses I sent him would be a good start ...