COMRADES, Labour has been an abstain in the pants of politics for a long time and its members have been putting up with more crap than the Andrex puppy.

The #LabourPurge Twitter hashtag has emerged as a response to the political flushing that members have received in the wake of Jeremy Corbyn’s popularity surge.

Blocked votes and diarrhoeic letters have effected everyone from new recruits to diehards like Mark Serwotka, head of the UK’s biggest trade union.

The rejection of his ballot alone says all you need to know about the unpleasant direction New Labour wants to go – “there is no socialism – only Blair!”

Aspiring Labour Party members are being made to feel as though they’re trying to gain access to a secret society like the Freemasons or even the Stonecutters.

Certainly, for an organisation that was once championed as a party of the people, Labour is now portraying itself as a party for the chosen few.

How can it advocate working-class democracy when it’s now seemingly operating under an internal dictatorship? The way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tony, Gordon and others were to gang together and record an anti-socialism song called Split the Party.

It could be like “Band Aid” for bad politics.

Of course this anti-left approach flies in the face of what is happening with both Labour and the country as whole.

Whether Blairite chumps want to admit it or not, the New Labour vessel is all but sunk while Corbyn-mania is running wild.

Jeremy, much like #SexySocialism, is less a belated sequel and more a ground-breaking reboot of a classic 1980s phenomenon; keeping all the bits you loved, dumping all the things you hated and adding its own 21st century magic to create a unique societal sensation.

Using this very formula, Corbyn recently accomplished the unimaginable by making people talk about the Labour Party in a positive way again – the electorate want Old Labour back.

However, it seems that treacherous Tony is determined not to let that happen. As a consequence, people all over the country are already preparing suitable alternatives.

I, like many others, have recently taken a keen interest in RISE, Scotland’s new Left Alliance.

Standing for respect, independence, socialism and environmentalism, this joint-electoral coalition intends to stand in next May’s Scottish election.

Today, hundreds of people will travel to Glasgow from all over Scotland in order to support RISE’s launch, with a wide range of speakers from across the world expected to address the current governmental landscape with reformist politics.

I will always champion groups and individuals I believe will make a positive contribution to politics, and I have no doubt that RISE can work with other progressive parties to stand against the austerity offensive that has been imposed upon our country by the Tories.

Ed Miliband may have foolishly spurned the Progressive Alliance, but I get the impression that Jeremy Corbyn may prove much more comfortable with pink-beret politics.

I realise that it may well be easier to simply raze Labour to the ground and start over, but Jeremy Corbyn offers a glimmer of hope that they can once again be inclusive, friendly and compassionate – the #SexySocialism way. Corbyn may be a Unionist, but as the Yes campaign has proven, Unionism can be a treatable ailment.

Furthermore, it is in the interest of an independent Scotland to have our immediate neighbour, England, run by a man who shares our sexy beliefs.

If you want these islands to be free of warmongering, poverty, Trident and greed – we need Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister.